“José, can you see” (“Star-Spangled Banner” mondegreen)
"José, can you see" is a popular mondegreen of "O say can you see," the first line in Francis Scott Key's "Star-Spangled Banner" (the U.S. national anthem).…
“Journalists Only Want 2 Things: 1. A Pulitzer Prize 2. Get killed by the CIA”
"Contrary to popular belief, the Pulitzer Prize isn't the highest award in journalism. It is being killed by the CIA" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the…
“Just a reminder that you still have plenty of time to do your taxes at the last minute”
"Just a reminder that you still have plenty of time to do your taxes at the last minute" is a jocular one-line saying about taxes that has been printed on ecards. The saying was posted on…
“Just because you don’t take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t in you”
"Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you" has been attributed to Greek leader Pericles (495 BC-429 BC), but only…
“Just finished my taxes and found out I still owe Ukraine $15,387.40”
The United States gives a lot of U.S. taxpayer money to other countries. A joke is that someone has just finished doing personal income taxes and has figured out how much is owed to another…
“Just finished my taxes. Apparently I owe Israel $11,375.82”
The United States gives a lot of U.S. taxpayer money to other countries. A joke is that someone has just finished doing personal income taxes and has figured out how much is owed to another…
“Just finished my taxes. Apparently I owe Ukraine $11,375.82”
The United States gives a lot of U.S. taxpayer money to other countries. A joke is that someone has just finished doing personal income taxes and has figured out how much is owed to another…
“Just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now”
"I just paid my car registration. The roads will be fixed any day now" and "Just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now" are jocular anti-government sayings that…
“Just to be clear, none of this matters if there is a virus” (said at Constitutional Convention)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic essentially resulted in medical martial law. A meme shows the painting "Washington as Statesman at the Constitutional Convention" by Junius Brutus…
“Just when I’m on the verge of growing cynical about our society I see an old woman smile and…”
The "woke" concept of a pregnant man has been the subject of humor. "People are cynical about today’s society but just this morning I saw an old woman give up her seat for a…
“Justice is a dish best served cold” (otherwise, just-ice would probably melt)
"Revenge is a dish best served cold" is an old proverb. A variation was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on September 2, 2017: "Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it'd…
“Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are”
"Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are" is a saying that has been printed on many images. It is usually credited to Benjamin Franklin…
“Keep Earth clean. It’s not Uranus”
"Keep the Earth/planet clean. It’s not Uranus" -- usually made to sound like "your anus" --is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Keep the Earth clean -…
“Keep our planet clean. It’s not Uranus”
"Keep the Earth/planet clean. It’s not Uranus" -- usually made to sound like "your anus" --is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Keep the Earth clean -…
“Keep the Earth clean. It’s not Uranus”
"Keep the Earth/planet clean. It’s not Uranus" -- usually made to sound like "your anus" --is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Keep the Earth clean -…
“Keep the planet clean. It’s not Uranus”
"Keep the Earth/planet clean. It’s not Uranus" -- usually made to sound like "your anus" --is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Keep the Earth clean -…
“Keep this planet clean. It’s not Uranus”
"Keep the Earth/planet clean. It’s not Uranus" -- usually made to sound like "your anus" --is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Keep the Earth clean -…
“Keep your government hands off my Medicare!”
"Keep your government hands off my Medicare!" was selected by Yale Book of Quotations editor Fred Shapiro to be 2009's top quotation. Medicare is a government-run program. The…
“Keep your nose in your mask and out my business bitch”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. "Keep your nose outta my business and under your mask" was posted on Twitter by gnat on July 8, 2020.…
“Keep your nose in your mask and out of my business”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. "Keep your nose outta my business and under your mask" was posted on Twitter by gnat on July 8, 2020.…