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December 23, 2015
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re looking for morals in politics, you’re looking for bananas in the cheese department”

American actor, comedian and radio host Harry Shearer has been credited since 2008 for a political saying: "Democrats always like to brag that their guys are smarter than the opponents and…

October 4, 2010
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re not a liberal at 20 you have no heart, if not a conservative at 40 you have no brain”

Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: List of misquotationsThis page consists of things that many people think are correct quotations but are actually incorrect. This does not include quotations…

April 1, 2010
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re not at the table, you’re on the menu”

"If you're not at the table, you're on the menu" (or, "You're either at the table or on the menu") means that if you're not at the (bargaining) table, then…

February 10, 2010
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re not catching flak, you’re not over the target”

"Flak" (anti-aircraft fire) became a widely used term during World War II. "If you're not catching flak, you're not over the target" (or "If you're catching…

April 15, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re not fighting for the things you care about, you’re losing”

Australian editor, publisher, and cypherpunk activist Julian Assange is the subject of the 2016 documentary film by Laura Poitras titled Risk. Assange is quoted: "The risk of inaction is…

July 15, 2018
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re not on a government watchlist by now, you should be ashamed of yourself”

"If you're not on a government watchlist by now, you should be ashamed of yourself" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The saying is associated with the group…

June 21, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re not subversive, you’re not relevant”

"If you're not subversive, you're not relevant" is a saying by Douglas Valentine, described on his website as "Author, Investigator, Journalist, Poet." "'If…

December 4, 2010
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“If you’re not the lead dog, the view never changes”

Humorist Robert Benchley (1889-1945) used this line in the film The Road to Utopia (1946): "Did you ever stop to think of one of those dog sled teams? The lead dog is the only one that ever…

March 29, 2025
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re pronounced dead when your heart stops beating, why aren’t you pronounced alive when your heart starts beating?”

"If we are pronounced dead when our heart stops, why are we not pronounced alive when our heart starts?" is a pro-life (anti-abortion) saying that has been printed on many images.…

March 19, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re still confused about gender, try milking a bull and you’ll learn real quick”

"If you are still confused about gender, try milking a bull. That might kick start your thinking" and "If you're still confused about gender, try milking a bull and you'll…

March 8, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re trying to ban books, you’re probably not the good guys”

"Here’s a tip: If you find yourself on the side that is trying to ban books, you are not the good guys" was posted on Twitter by Brad Polumbo on January 12, 2021. "If you're…

August 1, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re ugly with pretty eyes, this is your moment!” (face mask requirement)

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in face mask requirements. "If you're ugly with pretty eyes, this is your moment!" (or "If you're ugly, but have pretty eyes,…

December 21, 2014
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re white, it’s all right”

American blues songwriter Big Bill Broonzy (1893-1958) wrote in "Black, Brown and White" (1947): "If you're white, it's all right --If you're brown, stick around --…

September 15, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’ve ever wondered whether you would have complied during 1930s Germany, now you know”

"If you've ever wondered whether you would have complied during 1930s Germany, now you know" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that living through…

August 1, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re ugly but have pretty eyes, this is your chance!” (face mask requirement)

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in face mask requirements. "If you're ugly with pretty eyes, this is your moment!" (or "If you're ugly, but have pretty eyes,…

August 1, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re ugly but have pretty eyes, this is your time to shine!” (face mask requirement)

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in face mask requirements. "If you're ugly with pretty eyes, this is your moment!" (or "If you're ugly, but have pretty eyes,…

March 23, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If your country can afford to give money away to other countries, then you pay too much in taxes”

"If your country can afford to give money away to other countries, then you pay too much in taxes" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If your country can afford to…

December 13, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If your crush gets Covid, propose to her. She might say yes due to lack of taste”

The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic caused sufferers to have an absence of taste. Of course, there were some "lack of taste" jokes. "If your crush gets Covid, it's the right…

April 2, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If your crystal meth dealer has all of their teeth, they’re the cops”

"If your crystal meth dealer has all of their teeth, they're the cops/police" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many meth users suffer from "meth mouth."…

April 2, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If your crystal meth dealer has all of their teeth, they’re the police”

"If your crystal meth dealer has all of their teeth, they're the cops/police" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many meth users suffer from "meth mouth."…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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