“A hypocrite is someone who’s not themselves on Sunday”
"A hypocrite is a person who is not himself on Sunday" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Sunday is traditionally the day when Christians go to church, and a hypocrite…
“A jellyfish’s mouth is also its anus. The politician of the sea”
Politicians have been known to talk out of their asses. "Politician of the sea! RT @UberFacts: The mouth of a jellyfish is also the anus" was posted on Twitter by Jonny Zavant on October…
“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers”
H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) wrote in his magazine The Smart Set in June 1913: "A JUDGE is a law student who marks his own examination papers." "A judge is a law student who marks his…
“A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer”
"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer" is a popular joke definition of a jury. The joke appeared in the Atchison (KS)
“A jury is one thing that never works when it’s fixed”
"What's one thing that doesn't work when it's fixed?" is a popular riddle. The answer is "a jury." The joke has been cited in print since 1946, when it appeared…
“A lawsuit is something no one wants to have and no one wants to lose”
"A lawsuit is something no one wants to have and no one wants to lose" is a popular legal contradiction that appeared in the American Bar Association Journal in 1920. "What is it…
“A lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer”
Both dentists/orthodontists and lawyers have "retainers." "A lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor.jewish on…
“A lawyer helps you get what’s coming to him”
"A lawyer helps you get what’s coming to him" is a jocular saying of unknown authorship that has been cited in print since at least December 1948. American composer and comedian Oscar…
“A lawyer is someone who writes an 80-page document, and calls it a ‘brief’”
What a lawyer calls a "brief" if often very long. Jokes about this date to at least 1884. "A lawyer calls it a brief and then makes it 96 pages in length" was printed in the…
“A lawyer prevents somebody else from getting your money”
"A lawyer is a man who prevents anyone else from getting your money" is a jocular saying about lawyers that has been cited in print since at least 1955. The Chicago (IL)
“A lawyer’s time and advice are his stock in trade”
"A lawyer's time and advice are his stock in trade" is a classic legal aphorism that is often credited to Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865), but there's no evidence that he said it.…
“A lawyer’s first duty is to make sure that only the client goes to jail”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Lawyers with TroublesTrust Advice; Old Joke – Who goes to jail at the end of the day?; Cameras – get you canned – NSFWPosted on August 15, 2013 by Ted Waggoner(...)I…
“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way”
"A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way" is a frequently used saying about leadership. H. Reginald Buckler (1840-1927) wrote in 1889: "And what is it to be…
“A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not”
"A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not" means that even a leader's flaws (something not intended to be seen) are examples of leadership. The popular saying is…
“A liberal is a man too broad-minded to take his own side in a quarrel”
"A liberal is a man too broad-minded to take his own side in a quarrel" is usually credited to American poet Robert Frost (1874-1963). Frost used the quote in January 1961 (discussing…
“A liberal is a man who leaves the room when the fight begins”
New York newspaper columnist Heywood Broun (1888-1939) is known for saying: "A liberal is a man who leaves the room when the fight begins." Broun was a socialist who believed that…
“A liberal is a man with both feet planted firmly in the air”
"A liberal is a man with both feet planted firmly in the air" is the usual form of this saying, but "liberal" is often replaced with other terms and "planted firmly"…
“A liberal is a person who will give away everything he doesn’t own”
"A liberal is a man (person) who will give away everything he doesn't (they don't) own" has been credited to Frank Dane (in the 1980s and in internet newsgroups since 2000) and…
“A liberal is a person whose interests aren’t at stake at the moment”
"A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment" is a statement that appeared in the November 1966 Reader's Digest. The saying was attributed to Willis…
“A libertarian is a conservative who’s been busted”
"A neoconservative is a liberal who has been mugged by reality" has been credited to Irving Kristol's writing from 1983. "A libertarian is a conservative who's been…