“What does a cannibalistic cow eat?”/“Can o bull.”
"Cannibal" sounds like "can o' bull." "Can O' Bull Chief" was a short movie feature in 1928. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on January 21, 2018:…
“What does a Chinese bear fry eggs in?”/“A pan, duh!”
The word "panda" sounds like "pan, duh." A riddle was posted on Twitter by Nickiey on June 10, 2009. Q: What does a panda cook with? A: A PAN duh!! A slightly different version…
“What does a clock do when it’s hungry?”/“It goes back four seconds.”
"If a clock has already eaten but is still hungry, does it go back four seconds?" -- a pun on "go back for seconds" -- is a joke that appears to have been cited in print since…
“What does a condiment wizard perform?”/“Saucery.”
"Sorcery" should not be confused with "saucery," but there are jokes. This riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 9, 2020: Q: What does a condiment wizard perform?A:…
“What does a dolphin bake with?”/“All porpoise flour.”
"All-purpose flour" (also called "AP flour") can be used for baking many things, although professional bakers usually use other flours. "Purpose" should not be…
“What does a fart from a hard-core milk drinker smell like?”/“Dairy-air.”
"Derrière" sounds like "dairy air." A milk joke was posted on Reddit -- Puns on August 23, 2017: Q: What does a fart from a hard-core milk drinker smell like?A: Dairy-air. A…
“What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner?”/“Reservations!”
"King of the one-liners" Henny Youngman (1906-1998) told many jokes about his wife, such as "Take my wife -- please!" In 1981, Youngman said this about his wife's cooking:…
“What does a Jewish pescatarian say at breakfast time on the day of atonement? ‘Yum, kipper.’”
Yom Kippur (the Jewish Day of Atonement) shouldn't be confused with kipper (a fish that is often eaten for breakfast), but there are jokes. "Celebrating this Jewish holiday with a fish…
“What does a nosey pepper do?”/“It gets jalapeño business!”
"Jalapeño business" sounds like "all up in your business," and there's a joke: Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?A: Jalapeño business! The joke has been cited since at…
“What does a nosy pepper do?”/“It gets jalapeño business.”
"Jalapeño business" sounds like "all up in your business," and there's a joke: Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?A: Jalapeño business! The joke has been cited since at…
“What does a panda cook with?”/“A pan, duh!”
The word "panda" sounds like "pan, duh." A riddle was posted on Twitter by Nickiey on June 10, 2009. Q: What does a panda cook with? A: A PAN duh!! A slightly different version…
“What does a pear tree do before growing its fruit?”/“It pre-pears.”
The word "prepare" as nothing to do with pears, but there are jokes. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 30, 2020: Q: What does a pear tree do before growing it's…
“What does a physicist have for lunch?”/“Fission chips.”
"Fish and chips" became "fission chips" from several punsters in the 1940s, at the start of the nuclear age. "Fission chips" has been cited in print since at least…
“What does a pizza wear to smell good?”/“Calzogne.”
A pizza riddle is: Q: What does a pizza wear to smell good?A: Calzogne. (calzone + cologne) "Calzogne for to smell like an Italian meal" was posted on Twitter by Her Eekcellency on…
“What does a redneck and yeast have in common?”/“They are both in bread.”
A popular redneck joke is: Q: What does a redneck and yeast have in common?A: They are both in bread (inbred). "Q:What do a redneck and yeast have in common? A:They're both found with…
“What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?”/“Synonym rolls.”
"Cinnamon rolls" have been jokingly referred to as "synonym rolls" since at least the 1990s. "Made some synonym rolls" was a popular tweet on July 9, 2014. "What…
“What does a vegan cannibal eat?”/“Human beans.”
"Rutabaga" is called "swede" in British English, and another name is "Swedish turnip." "Swede" can be confused with a person from Sweden. A classic riddle,…
“What does a vegan cannibal eat?”/“Kurds.”
"Rutabaga" is called "swede" in British English, and another name is "Swedish turnip." "Swede" can be confused with a person from Sweden. A classic riddle,…
“What does a vegan pirate do in jail?”/“Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve!”
A pirate riddle is: Q: What does a vegan pirate do in jail?A: Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve! The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Karma-Lab Forums Pirate Jokeskahrayzee 26-Jun-03, 04:15…
“What does a vegan zombie eat?”/“Graaaiinns!”
Zombies eat brains, but there's a joke: Q: What does a vegan/vegetarian zombie eat?A: GRAAAIINNNZZZ! "Which reminds me: what do vegetarian zombies eat? (A: GRAAAIINNNZZZ!!!)" was…