“Well-behaved women rarely make decent margaritas”
"Well-behaved women seldom make history" (or "Well-behaved women rarely make history") is a famous quote from American historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. "Well-behaved women…
“Well-behaved women rarely make history. Or decent margaritas”
"Well-behaved women seldom make history" (or "Well-behaved women rarely make history") is a famous quote from American historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. "Well-behaved women…
“Well, butter my buns and call me a biscuit”
"Well, butter my buns and call me a biscuit" (or, "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit") is a mock Southern expression for surprise. There are many jocular expressions…
“Welp, looks like another chocolate cake tripped and fell into my mouth”
People don't intentionally eat fattening foods -- the foods just trip and fall into their mouths. This is, of course, a joke. "I'm pretty sure my tummy just warned me not to eat…
“Whale oil beef hooked” (How to speak Irish in one easy lesson)
"Whale oil beef hooked" are words that have been printed on many images. Supposedly, it's a joke of how an Irish persons says, "Well, I'll be fucked." The words have…
“What are ‘derves’? I heard the whores love ‘em”
"Hors d'oeuvres" is difficult for many Americans to spell. The term has nothing to do with whores, but there are jokes. "First the simple whore derves" was printed in The…
“What are apricots?”/“Where monkeys sleep.”
Apricots aren't made from apes or cots, but there's a riddle: Q: What are apricots?A: Where monkeys sleep. The joke was posted on Twitter on September 15, 2009.…
“What are Santa’s favorite potato chips?”/“Crisp Pringles.”
"Kris Kringle" can sound like "crisp Pringles" (Pringles is an American brand of stackable potato-based crisps), and of course, there are jokes. "Last night I was visited…
“What are the two things you can’t eat for breakfast?” (riddle)
"What are the two things you can't eat for breakfast?" is a classic food riddle. "Lunch and dinner" is the answer. "You know, there are two things that I can't…
“What are unhappy cranberries called?”/“Blueberries.”
"What are unhappy cranberries called? Blueberries." The cranberries joke -- included in many Thanksgiving joke collections -- has been cited in print since at least 1986. Google BooksThe…
“What are you eating and how can I help?—dogs”
Dogs often watch (and beg) while people are eating. A joke was posted on Twitter by Elizabeth Hackett on July 20, 2017: "WHAT ARE YOU EATING AND HOW CAN I HELP?-- dogs" TwitterElizabeth…
“What are you when you can’t decide on what pizza to get?”/“Indeslicesive.”
"Indeslicesive" (indecisive + slice) means that someone can't decide on what slice to eat. The jokes usually involve a pizza slice, but the term could apply to other slices (such as…
“What beef only comes in 2, 3, 5, 7, or 11 ounce portions?”/“Prime rib.”
Prime rib does not involved prime numbers, but there are jokes. "Of course, then you'll realise that you should be bridling every *prime* rib. 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13" was posted on…
“What cake is as hard as a rock?”/“Marble cake.”
A marble cake riddle is: Q: What cake is as hard as a rock?A: Marble cake. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1976. "What cake would a sculptor use? Marble" was printed in…
“What came after the stone age and the bronze age?”/“The sausage.”
A joke about the "sausage" (or "Saus Age") is: TEACHER: What came after the stone age and the bronze age?STUDENT: The saus-age. The joke was printed in many newspapers in 1907.…
“What came first, the taco or the Tuesday?”
"Taco Tuesday" has been popular at restaurants for a very long time. "What came first, the taco or the Tuesday?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images.…
“What can go wrong at a cookout will go wrong. Murphy’s Slaw”
"Murphy's law ("Anything that can go wrong will go wrong") shouldn't be confused with Murphy's slaw (cole slaw), but there are jokes. "RT @awryone If the mayo can…
“What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?”/“Breakfast or lunch.”
A Thanksgiving dinner riddle is: Q: What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?A: Breakfast or lunch. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1997. “What are the two things you…
“What cereal makes fun of you but doesn’t mean it?”/“We tease.”
"Wheaties" cereal sounds like "we tease." A pun was posted on Twitter by Kevin McCallister on December 9, 2016: Q: What cereal makes fun of you but doesn’t mean it?A: We…
“What cheese can you eat on Passover?”/“Matzahrella.”
A Passover riddle is: Q: What cheese can you eat on Passover?A: Matzohrella/ Matzahrella/ Matzoh-rella/ Matzah-rella/ Matzorella/ Matzarella/ Matzo-rella/ Matza-rella. "A: What kind of cheese…