“The wife bet I couldn’t make a spaghetti car. Then I drove pasta”
"Pasta" sounds like "past her." A joke is: "My wife bet that I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!" The joke was…
“The word ‘cheese’ is cancelled. Everyone must now call it a loaf of milk”
Cheese (except for vegan cheese) is usually derived from milk. "THE WORD 'CHEESE' IS CANCELLED everyone must now call it a loaf of milk" Was posted on Facebook by Callum…
“The word ‘Fat’ just looks like someone took a bite out of the word ‘Eat’”
"Fat" looks like the word "Eat." "The word 'Fat' is only one dash away from the word 'Eat'" was cited on Twitter on August 16, 2009. "The word…
“The world is your lobster”
"The world is your oyster" is an old proverb. "The world is your lobster" is a jocular variant that was said by the character Arthur Daley (played by George Cole) on the British…
“The world is your taco. Fill it with what you want”
"The world is your oyster" is an old proverb. "The world is your taco" is a variation. "Text from marisol: You are young, done with 1L, will be working for the ACLU, and…
“The world is your taco”
"The world is your oyster" is an old proverb. "The world is your taco" is a variation. "Text from marisol: You are young, done with 1L, will be working for the ACLU, and…
“The world would be a better place if more things were wrapped in bacon”
"if more things were wrapped in bacon the world would be a better place" was posted on Twitter by Colt45 on March 3, 2012. "Maybe the world would be a better place if we just wrapped…
“The worst part of my apple addiction is not being able to see a doctor about it”
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away” is an old saying. "Ironically, I've now got to see a doctor about my apple addiction!" was posted on Twitter by Richard White on April 16,…
“The worst spread for a bagel has to be the pap shmear”
A "pap smear" has nothing to do with a "schmear" (or "shmear"), but there are jokes. Sometimes the "pap" stands for "papaya," "paprika"…
“The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them”
"The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them" is a jocular line about cooking. "The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen (says Franklin…
“The worst thing about an apple addiction is that you can’t see a doctor about it”
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away” is an old saying. "Ironically, I've now got to see a doctor about my apple addiction!" was posted on Twitter by Richard White on April 16,…
“Them DoorDash prices make u wanna walk and get yo own food”
DoorDash delivery brings food to a customer's door. People like the convenience, but not the prices. This was posted on X/Twitter by RELL⭕️ on August 24, 2020: "DoorDash be like...…
“Them DoorDash prices make you look in the kitchen a few more times”
DoorDash delivery brings food to a customer's door. People like the convenience, but not the prices. This was posted on X/Twitter by RELL⭕️ on August 24, 2020: "DoorDash be like...…
“Them: A ring of salt will protect you from evil. Me: *fixes margarita*”
Some people believe in magic circles. "A ring of salt will protect you" (or "A circle of salt will protect you") has been printed on many images. "A ring of salt will…
“There are 13 minerals that are essential to human life, and all of them are found in wine”
"There are 13 minerals that are essential to human life, and all of them are found in wine. Coincidence? I think not!" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. The saying…
“There are better things in the world than alcohol, but alcohol sort of compensates”
English author Terry Pratchett (1948-2015) wrote in Death's Domain (1999), in a conversation between Albert and Death: Death: AH, ALCOHOL.Albert: 'Yes, sir.'Death: THERE ARE BETTER…
“There are days when I need coffee to come out of the shower head”
Many people need coffee immediately upon waking. "This is gonna be one of those days where i wish coffee came out of the shower head" was posted on Twitter by Aimee on November 19, 2012.…
“There are days when we need to drink our coffee strong, play our music loud and get our stuff done”
"I like my music loud and my coffee strong" (also "I like my music loud, my coffee strong and my dreams big/large") and "There are days in life when we need to drink our…
“There are few things more upsetting than burning one side of a grilled cheese”
When making a grilled cheese sandwich, the bread on one side often burns. There are many jokes about this. "Is it even possible to make a grilled cheese without totally burning one side?"…
“There are Lunchables, but no Breakfastables”
There are "Lunchables" (trademarked in 1987), but no "Breakfastables" or "Dinnerables." However, the same company (Oscar Mayer) did trademark…