“I miss my wife’s cooking—as often as I can”
"I miss my wife's cooking -- as often as I can" is a popular joke of uncertain origin. "I miss my wife's cooking — whenever I get a chance!" was cited in print in…
“I miss the 90s when bread was still good for you and nobody knew what kale was”
"I miss the 90s when bread was still good for you and nobody knew what kale was" is a saying that has been printd on many images. Many people like bread and hate kale. Authorship of the…
“I mostly use my driver’s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive”
There's an irony that people use a driver's license to buy alcohol. "I mostly use my driver's license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive" was posted on Reddit --…
“I must get up. My coffee needs me”
"I must get up. My coffee needs me" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I should get up. My coffee needs me" was posted on Twitter on February 24,…
“I named my stomach Budapest, Because it is the capital of Hungry”
The country of Hungary should not be confused with "hungry," but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by Taylor Burkhalter on January 6, 2018: "I was home for Christmas and my…
“I need a coffee so strong that I forget my problems and possibly my name, too”
"I need a coffee so strong that I forget my problems and possibly my name, too" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter by…
“I need a coffee, a vacation, and a bag full of cash. That’s all”
"I need a coffee, a vacation, and a bag full of cash. That's all" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a coffee, a vacation and a bag full of cash. Thats…
“I need a glass of wine. Or a bottle. Or a winery in Italy”
"I need a glass of wine. Or a bottle. Or a winery in Italy" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a glass of wine. Or a bottle. Or a winery would be…
“I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of beer”
"I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of beer/vodka/wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a hug, or a good cry, or both, or maybe a bottle…
“I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of vodka”
"I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of beer/vodka/wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a hug, or a good cry, or both, or maybe a bottle…
“I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of wine”
"I need a hug, or a good cry. Or both, maybe a bottle of beer/vodka/wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I need a hug, or a good cry, or both, or maybe a bottle…
“I need a hug…e bottle of wine”
"I need a hug...e bottle of wine" is a jocular wine saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 20, 2014. TwitterBrandy Sanchez…
“I need coffee & you need a shut the fucupcake”
"Try my new recipe. They're called shut the fucupcakes" or "I just baked you some shut the fucupcakes" (shut the fuck up + cupcakes) is a food saying that has been printed…
“I need coffee because morning people exist and they keep trying to talk to me”
"I'm not a morning person. I drink coffee because morning people exist and they keep trying to talk to me" (or "I need coffee because morning people exist and they keep trying…
“I need glasses to see my family. Specifically, two glasses of Scotch”
"Glasses" can mean eyeglasses, but it can also mean drinking glasses. "I've been writing for 40min and my head is spinning already. I think I need glasses. two glasses. of…
“I need my coffee because sometimes this mouth wakes up before my brain does”
"I need my coffee because sometimes this mouth wakes up before my brain does" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I need my coffee because sometimes this mouth…
“I need some hot, steamy, earth shattering, mind-blowing… COFFEE!”
"I need some hot, steamy, earth shattering, mind-blowing... COFFEE!" (or "I want hot, steamy, earth shattering, mind-blowing... COFFEE") is a jocular coffee saying that has been…
“I need that kinda coffee that’s so strong when I take a sip, my ancestors wake up”
"I need that kinda coffee that's so strong when I take a sip, my ancestors wake up" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "This coffee is strong enough to…
“I need to find a hobby that doesn’t include eating or buying things”
"I need to find a hobby that doesn't include eating or buying things" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "I need to find a hobby…
“I need to practice social distancing from the refrigerator”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many to "socially distance" themselves from others. However, quarantines caused many people to stay at home and get fat. "I need to social…