“Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? He’s awake now”
A popular joke involves a pun on the word "kidnapping" ("kid napping"). "Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? He's awake now." "Okay so today ther…
“Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?” (joke)
"I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers" is a pun that was cited on Twitter on November 10, 2010. The joke quickly went viral. "Did you hear about the…
“Diploma: Remembrance of things passed”
A jocular definition or "daffynition" was published in The Wall Street Journal on March 29, 1967: Diploma: Remembrance of things passed.-- Percy Verance. "Percy Verance" (the…
“Do history exams get harder every year?”
"Do history exams get harder every year?" is a jocular one-liner. After each year, there is more history to learn! "I feel sorry for each new generation of students,since history…
“Do I misuse contractions? Yes, but it’s what it’s”
"It is what it is" is a popular phrase. "It's what it's" is used in contraction jokes. "Do I misuse contractions? Yes, but it's what it's" was…
“Do trees poop?”/“Where do you think number 2 pencils come from!”
There's a joke about No. 2 pencils that really stinks. "Do tree poop, yes, where do you think number 2 pencils come from" was posted on Twitter by Chris Craft on October 20, 2016.…
“Do your homework or you’ll end up at McDonald’s”
"Do your homework or you'll end up (working) at McDonald's!" is a parent's threat to a child. If the child doesn't do well in school, then he or she will wind up…
“Does anyone know the number that parents are supposed to call if we need a substitute teacher?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in school closures. Parents suddenly became teachers for their children. "Hey Teachers...I'm gonna need the phone number to call and get a…
“Does McDonald’s Sell Cheese Burgers?” (math mnemonic)
"Does McDonald's Sell/Serve Cheese Burgers" is a math mnemonic used by many elementary school teachers. The letters "DMSCB" stand for "Divide Multiply Subtract Check…
“Dog obedience schools have grades K - 9”
"K-9" can mean "canine" (a dog). "K-9" can also mean "kindergarten-9th grade." "My dog training school teaches grades K-9" was posted on Twitter by…
“Don’t ask why children need to see drag queens. Ask why drag queens crave an audience of children”
"Don't ask why children need to see drag queens. Ask why drag queens crave an audience of children" (or "Ask not why the children shouldn’t see drag queens; ask why drag…
“Don’t drink water while studying. Chemistry says that concentration decreases on adding water”
"Don't drink water while studying because chemistry says that concentration decreases on adding water" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that…
“Don’t pray in my school and I won’t think in your church”
"Don't pray in my school and I won't think in your church" is a saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts and bumper stickers. The popular saying against…
“Don’t stress. Do your best. Forget the rest”
"Don't stress. Do your best. Forget the rest" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "DO your best, forget the rest" was printed in a 1915…
“Don’t tell anytwo, but I suck at math”
There is the word "anyone," but not "anytwo." "Monday math class anyone? Anytwo? Anythree? Monday bloody monday" was posted on Twitter by AdhikaRahmanto on December…
“Don’t use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression…”
"Don't use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity" is a jocular expression that has…
“Dropping Latin phrases into conversations just to sound smart is definitely my modus operandi”
"Modus operandi" is Latin for "mode/manner of operating." "Dropping Latin phrases into conversations to sound smart... That’s my modus operandi" was posted on…
“Drugs: Responsible for teaching Americans the metric system”
"Drugs: Responsible for teaching Americans the metric system" is a jocular saying that has been printed on bumper stickers are T-shirts. "Drugs are responsible for teaching Americans…
“During exams, students look up for inspiration, down in desperation”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksMiddle and High School Teaching: Methods, Standards, and Best PracticesBy James A. DuPlassBoston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Co.2006Pg. 280:Prior to a test, announce…
“Each day of our lives we make deposits into the memory banks of our children”
"Each day of our lives we make deposits in/into the memory banks of our children" is a quotation that has been printed on posters; the saying has been posted at many schools and has been…