“‘I love snow’— People who never shovel”
What type of person loves the snow? "i love snow, until i have to shovel it!!!!" was posted on X/Twitter by Franco Campanella on December 6, 2009. "i love the snow... that is until i…
Mount Bonnell (Austin toponym)
“‘I love turning the clocks back so it gets dark by 4 pm’ Said no one ever”
"'I love turning the clocks back so it gets dark by 4pm' said no one ever" (shown on an image) was posted on Twitter by Sent-Well.com (and others) on November 1, 2014. The same…
“‘I must do something’ will always solve more problems than ‘Something must be done’”
"'I must do something' will always solve more problems than 'Something must be done'" is a saying that has been printed on posters. The saying has been cited in print…
“‘I only have diamonds, clubs and spades,’ said Tom heartlessly”
A "Tom Swifty" about playing cards was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on March 18, 2000: "'I only have diamonds, clubs and spades,' said Tom heartlessly."…
“‘I ran a half marathon’ sounds so much better than ‘I quit halfway through a marathon’”
"I ran a half-marathon! Small print: I entered a marathon and gave up halfway through" was cited on Twitter on September 24, 2013. The joke became viral with Rick Aaron's tweet on…
“‘I said NO!’—Me, shortly before giving my dog my sandwich”
A dog often wants the sandwich that an owner is eating. The owner might say "no," but the dog often wins the sandwich in the end. "I said 'No' -- Me, about to give my dog a…
“‘I see,’ said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw”
"'I see,' said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw" is a form of pun known as a "Wellerism." "A country paper, in speaking of a blind wood…
“‘I’ before ‘E,’ except in Budweiser”
"I before E except after C" is an old spelling rule, but there are many exceptions. Budweiser is one of the highest selling beers in the United States. The beer joke "I before E…
“‘I’ before ‘E,’ except when you run a feisty heist on your weird beige overweight foreign neighbor”
"I" before"E" is an English spelling rule, with many exceptions -- such as "neighbor" and "neighborhood." "'I'before 'E,' except…
“‘I’ is the only difference between fit and fat”
"'I' is the only difference between fit and fat" (or "'I' is the only difference between fat and fit") is a motivational saying that has been printed on…
“‘I’ll have a hot dog,’ Tom said frankly”
A "Tom Swifty" (or "Tom Swiftie") is a quoted sentence with a related pun in the attribution. "'I had a hot dog for lunch,' Tom said frankly" was printed in…
“‘I’m just gonna get gas in the morning” is one of the worst decisions you can make as an adult”
Many people drive home from work and are tired, and they tell themselves that they will get gas in the morning. However, in the morning they have to wake up early, there is traffic, the gas station…
“‘I’m leaving Twitter’ is the new ‘I’m moving to Canada’”
During the 2016 U.S. presidential election, many liberals stated that they would move to Canada is Donald Trump (a Republican) were to be elected president. he was elected, but not many of these…
“‘I’m offended’ is the debate equivalent of flipping over the board game when you start losing”
"'I'm offended' is the debate equivalent of flipping over the board game when you start losing" is a saying that has been printed on several images. That is, "I'm…
“‘Iced coffee’ sounds cool but ‘cold coffee’ sounds gross”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Twittervince@v_c_17How come we like iced coffee but dislike cold coffee?12:37 PM · May 19, 2020·Twitter for Android Reddit -- ShowerthoughtsPosted by u/IlConteiacula…
“‘Irish Flooring’ by Lynn O’Leum” (jocular book title)
"Linoleum" (a floor covering) is not the name of a person, but "Lynn O. Leum" was printed in the Muskegon (MI) Chronicle on March 8, 1916, and "East Lynne-o-leum" was…
“‘Is Pepsi OK?’—World’s worst drug dealer”
Many diners ask for "coke" when they want a soda. If the establishment has Pepsi cola instead of Coca-Cola, a server usually asks, "Is Pepsi okay (as a substitute drink)?" Pepsi…
“‘Is there anything else I can assist you with today?’ No just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with thanks”
Telephone operators often try to appear helpful after being unhelpful. This was posted on X/Twitter by Jason Mustian on November 9, 2023: "'Is there anything else I can assist you with…
“‘It’s been a long week,’ I say in the middle of the day on Tuesday”
"'It's been a long week.' -- Me, in the middle of Tuesday" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The work week is usually Monday through Friday.…
“‘It’s been a long week.’—Me, in the middle of Tuesday”
"'It's been a long week.' -- Me, in the middle of Tuesday" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The work week is usually Monday through Friday.…