“The first rule of vegan fight club. Tell everyone about vegan fight club”
Vegans have a reputation of telling everyone that they're vegans. “How do you know if someone is a vegan?"/"Don’t worry, they’ll tell you" is a popular joke. "First…
Big Nipple (Los Angeles nickname)
“The first stage of a realistic baking show would be each contestant trying to open a jammed utensil drawer”
What would a realistic baking show (possibly on the Food Network) be like? This was posted on X/Twitter by The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 on December 5, 2018: "The first stage of a realistic baking…
“The first step to changing the system is to stop complying with it”
"The first step to changing the system is to stop complying with it" is a political saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. "The first step to changing…
“The first submarine sandwich shop opened in 1898, but the store went under”
A company that’s bankrupt and closes is said to have “gone under” (as if buried). There are several submarine ("sub") sandwich shop jokes. "The inventor of the submarine…
“The first syllable of the word ‘diet’ is “die’”
"Diet is 'die' with a 'T'" is a jocular dieting saying that has been printed on many images. The Garfield the cat comic strip, created by Jim Davis, printed this is…
“The first symptom of Covid is no common sense”
The first symptom of Covid-19 is often said to be the loss of the sense of smell (or taste). "The first symptom of Covid is no common sense" is a saying that adds a comment on that.…
“The first thing I do each morning is to read the obituaries” (joke)
"The first thing I do each morning is to read the obituaries in the newspaper," an old person often jokes. "If I don't see my name, I go make breakfast." "When I get…
“The first thing on my bucket list is to fill the bucket with wine”
"The first thing on my bucket list is to fill the bucket with wine" is a jocular wine saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on April 10, 2014.…
“The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor”
"The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor." is a dieting saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1979 (when it was…
“The first time I played chess I tried to move my castles diagonally. Classic rookie mistake”
There are two players in the game of chess (players with white pieces and black pieces), and each player has two rooks (or "castles"). A rook moves in straight lines, but not diagonally.…
“The first time I saw a universal remote control I thought, ‘This changes everything’”
A popular joke about a tv remote is: "I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control, and I thought to myself, 'Well, this changes everything.'" "A universal…
“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider trying it”
The comedienne Joan Rivers said that she didn't like to jog. "The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider trying it," she was quoted in the New York (NY) Daily News in…
“The five stages of Monday; Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Wine”
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance have been called the "five stages of grief." "The five stages of Monday; Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Wine" is a…
“The five-second rule doesn’t apply to soup”
The "five-second rule" states that if food falls on the floor, it's still good to eat if you pick it up within five seconds. The "rule," however, has been debunked.…
“The five-second rule doesn’t apply to M&M’s because they have an exoskeleton”
"@mmschocolate have an exoskeleton, like an insect. @twix have an endoskeleton, like a human. @reeses cups have no skeleton, like a slug. Enjoy!" was posted on Twitter by Billy Goldfang…
“The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe”
Members of a "flat earth society" don't believe that the world is round. A joke went viral in February 2016: "The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe." The…
“The flavor of the wooden spoon haunts me to this day” (wooden spoon of ice cream cups)
Children at school or at camp are (or were) often given a cup of ice cream with a small wood "spoon" to eat it with. The ice cream spoon now is also made with plastic. "ice cream cup…
“The flavor of water is its temperature”
Water usually has no flavor, but it can be hot or cold. "Water is a beverage whose flavor is its temperature" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on May 28, 2018. "Water’s…
“The floor is baklava > The floor is lava”
Baklava (a dessert) has nothing to do with lava, but there are jokes. Some baklava jokes involve the children's game of "the floor is lava." "I wonder if Greek kids play a game…
“The floor is lava = frightening and scary. The floor is baklava = delicious and wonderful”
Baklava (a dessert) has nothing to do with lava, but there are jokes. Some baklava jokes involve the children's game of "the floor is lava." "I wonder if Greek kids play a game…