A Glock is usually not found in guacamole, but there are jokes. A popular image shows a Glock in a pot of guacamole. "You mean Glock-amole?"was posted on the newsgroup rec.guns on…
"Stakeholder" shouldn't be confused with "steakholder," but there are jokes. This was posted on X/Twitter by LaughBreak: Dad Jokes ‘N More on May 5, 2025: "If I…
"If I knew how to back flip that'd be my response to everything" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on X/Twitter by teffi on September 16, 2022,…
"If I knew you were coming, I'd have baked a cake" is a famous line that, according to a 1951 newspaper article below, was coined by American actor Walter Catlett (1889-1960) in the…
"If I've offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly did not think you could read" is a jocular social media apology that has been printed on many images. "If…
"Quid pro quo" (something in exchange for something else) has nothing to do with calamari (squid), but there are jokes. "It could be the squid pro quo for a bowl of cold spaghetti in…
"If I only wanted one drink, I’d go for communion" is a jocular line that has been printed on bar signs. GSElevator (Goldman Sachs Elevator) posted the message on Twitter on September…
Many diners has special, invented names for sandwiches. "If I owned a diner I'd have a sandwich called 'The Usual' so everyone would feel special. #fb" was posted on…
"If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent Texas and live in Hell" is a famous statement of U.S. General Philip Henry Sheridan in 1866. A later account (1883, below) tries to temper the…
"If I pass out, please note my time" is a jocular exercise saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on August 4, 2012. Twitter…
Haunted houses can be expensive, and for the price being charged, they should be scary. "if i pay $40 for a haunted house, I better get stabbed foreal" was posted on X/Twitter by…
Haunted houses can be expensive, and for the price being charged, they should be scary. "if i pay $40 for a haunted house, I better get stabbed foreal" was posted on X/Twitter by…
There's a candy bar called "Baby Ruth" and another called "Oh, Henry!" It was widely believe in baseball circles that these were named after the home run hitters Babe Ruth…
"If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption" (or "If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore the…
"If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption" (or "If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore the…
"If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption" (or "If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore the…
Some people procrastinate a lot. A joke was posted on Twitter by Phil Plait on February 11, 2013: "If I procrastinated any harder right now, it would have to involve time travel."…
Many people put a guitar pick in their pocket, especially the small pocket in their jeans that was originally meant for a watch. "RETWEET if you use this pocket solely for guitar picks!…
"Maybe if we email the Constitution to each other, the NSA would finally read it?" (or "If I put the Constitution in my emails, would the government start reading it?") is a…
March 15th (the middle of the month) is called the Ides of March. Roman general and statesman Julius Caesar was assassinated on March 15, 44 B.C. "If I read one more corny ides of March joke,…