“The only wasted vote is the one you cast for a politician”
Many people talk about "wasted" votes, such as a vote for a third party candidate who has no chance of winning the election. Somme people believe that voting in a state that is not a…
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs
“The only way for baked evils to triumph is for baked goods to not be eaten”
"Good" is the opposite of "bad" and "evil." There are "baked goods," but there are no "baked bads" or "baked evils." "Then tell me…
“The only way to get ahead is to decapitate someone”
"To get ahead" should not be confused with "to get a head," but there are jokes. "To get ahead in this world, you'd probably have to decapitate someone" was…
“The only way to lose weight by drinking green tea is to go to the mountain and pick it yourself”
It's sometimes said that green tea helps in weight loss. "The only way to lose weight by drinking green tea is to go to the mountain and pick it yourself" is a jocular one-line…
“The only way to see New York” (Circle Line)
The Circle Line runs sightseeing cruises around Manhattan, and to other points. It's been in business since 1945. "The only way to see New York -- Circle it on the Circle Line" is…
“The opening ceremony for my ribbon repair business was pretty confusing”
Many businesses are opened by a ribbon-cutting ceremony. But what if the business is repairing ribbons? "The opening ceremony for my ribbon repair business was pretty confusing" was…
“The opera ain’t over until the fat lady sings”
"Church is never out until they stop singing" is a saying that has been popular since the late 1800s."It ain't over 'til it's over" is a similar saying that has…
“The operation was successful, but the patient died”
"The operation was successful, but the patient died" (or "the operation was a success, but the patient died") is an old joke in the medical profession that has also been used to…
“The opposite of ‘easy peasy lemon squeezy’ is ‘stressed depressed lemon zest’”
“Easy peasy lemon squeezy” is a way of saying that something is easy. "Difficult difficult lemon difficult" (or "When you thought everything would be easy peasy lemon squeezy,…
“The opposite of a dominant chord is a submissive chord”
In music theory, there is a dominant chord, but no submissive chord. "Dominant chords and submissive chords #musicjokes #music" was posted on twitter by Matt Hues on June 26, 2012.…
“The opposite of capitalism is lowercaseism”
Sometimes "capitalism" just means capital letters. "lowercaseism: antonym of capitalism....the practice of not using any capital letters" was posted on Twitter by Jim Gleeson on…
“The opposite of Dr Pepper is Patient Salt”
There is a Dr Pepper carbonated soft drink, and some people think there should be a "Patient Salt." "'I will be Dr. Pepper and you can be Patient Salt.' -- Ethan" was…
“The opposite of Flavortown is Blandberg”
"Flavortown" (food with lots of flavor) is a favorite expression of Guy Fieri, host of the television show Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Are there other food municipalities? Bland City:…
“The opposite of Flavortown is Blandland”
"Flavortown" (food with lots of flavor) is a favorite expression of Guy Fieri, host of the television show Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Are there other food municipalities? Bland City:…
“The opposite of isolate is isoearly”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to self-isolate. "Dad: what is the opposite word for isolate Me: doesn’t answer for 5mins Dad: you so early" was posted on Twitter…
“The opposite of isolate is yousoearly”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to self-isolate. "Dad: what is the opposite word for isolate Me: doesn’t answer for 5mins Dad: you so early" was posted on Twitter…
“The opposite of New Orleans is Old Andfat”
"the opposite of New Orleans is Old Andsits" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Autopsy Turvy on November 11, 2016. "The opposite of new orleans is old andfats" was posted…
“The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist invents the parachute”
Entry in progress -- B.P.English novelist Glabys Bronwyn Stern or G. B. Stern (1890-1973) Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) 7 September 1967, Scottsdale (AZ) Progress, "Here and…
“The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank…” (Imhoff’s Law)
Thomas Lyle Merton's book, Malice in Blunderland (1973), provided a satirical view of bureaucratic jargon. One "law" has remained popular: IMHOFFS LAW: "The organization of any…
“The origami shop says business is in creasing”
"Increasing" shouldn't be confused with "in creasing," but there are origami puns. "RT @SpacemanQuisp I think the popularity of origami is in creasing" was posted…