“Petition to rename ‘coleslaw’ to ‘coleslay’”
"Cole slaw" (or "coleslaw") is sometimes jocularly given the forms "cole slay" (or "coleslay") and "cole slew" (or "coleslew").…
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs
“Petroleum jelly implies the existence of petroleum peanut butter”
Petroleum jelly (such as Vaseline) is a popular non-food product. There is no petroleum peanut butter, but there are jokes. "Just wondering...Why is there no petroleum peanut butter?" was…
“Pets are honestly the weirdest little roommates. We don’t speak the same language, they pay zero rent…”
"Pets are so weird like it's just this little individual that lives in your gaff and you can't speak to each other but you're just best mates" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Pets are so weird like it’s just this little individual that lives in your gaff and you can’t speak to each other but you’re just best mates”
"Pets are so weird like it's just this little individual that lives in your gaff and you can't speak to each other but you're just best mates" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Pets are so weird like it’s just this little individual that lives in your house and you can’t speak to each other but you’re just best friends”
"Pets are so weird like it's just this little individual that lives in your gaff and you can't speak to each other but you're just best mates" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Pets: Life’s apology for every bad day ever”
"Pets: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever" is a saying that has been printed on many images. People come home after a bad day at work (or school) and are greeted by their pets.…
“Pets: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever”
"Pets: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever" is a saying that has been printed on many images. People come home after a bad day at work (or school) and are greeted by their pets.…
“Pets: Life’s apology for every crummy day ever”
"Pets: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever" is a saying that has been printed on many images. People come home after a bad day at work (or school) and are greeted by their pets.…
“Pharma funds the media. The media funds your fears. Your fears fund your disease…”
"Pharma funds the media. The media funds your fears. Your fears fund your disease. Your disease funds pharma" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Pharma funds the…
“Pheidippides walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A marathon runner variation is: "A marathon runner walks into a bar. The bartender…
“Philosophies are questions that may never be answered. Religions are answers…”
"Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown.…
“Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may not be questioned”
"Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown.…
“Philosophy is wondering if a Bloody Mary counts as a smoothie”
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad” is a popular saying. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a salad.…
“Philosophy majors ask why you want fries with that”
"Do you want fries with that?" is a popular question asked at many fast food restaurants. By extension, it's used in several jokes about liberal arts graduates who seemingly…
“Philosophy majors be like I got a thought due tomorrow”
People sometimes joke that philosophy majors work on thoughts. "Philosophy majors be like ugh i have a thought due tomorrow 😫" was posted on X/Twitter by king on October 30, 2019, and…
“Philosophy majors be like ugh I have a thought due tomorrow”
People sometimes joke that philosophy majors work on thoughts. "Philosophy majors be like ugh i have a thought due tomorrow 😫" was posted on X/Twitter by king on October 30, 2019, and…
“Phoney as a three-dollar bill” (“Queer as a three-dollar bill”)
Three-dollar bills were printed by various states in the 1800s, but there has never been a U.S. three-dollar bill. There are U.S. one-dollar bills and U.S. two-dollar bills. "Rufe Davis…
“Photographers are violent people. First they frame you, then they shoot you”
"Photographers are violent people. First they frame you, then they shoot you, then they hang you on the wall" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“Physically walked inside of a bank today and picked up some paper checks. Might fuck around and chop some wood later…”
"Actually used cash today at a convenience store. Might chop some wood later. Maybe ride the horse into town to get some provisions" is a joke that has been printed on many images. In a…
“Pi Day is just a fake holiday created by math companies to sell more math”
"Pi Day is just a fake holiday created by math companies to sell more math" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Pi Day is March 14th (3/14), just as Pi is…