“I wish the liquor store had a rewards program”
Many people wish that liquor stores had rewards programs, like many other retail stores. Some liquor stores do have such programs. "I wish this liquor store by my apt had a rewards program.…
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs
“I wish there was a chess player named Richard. Everything he does would be a Dick move”
A "dick move" is a contemptibly cruel or selfish action. It doesn't involve a "dick" making a chess move, but there have been several jokes. "Penis-shaped figures on a…
“I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence”
A popular joke about television's "brightness" knob was given by the comedian Gallagher: "I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob…
“I wish this Sunday coffee had another weekend in it”
"I wish this Sunday coffee had another weekend in it" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "'I wish this Sunday coffee had another weekend in it.'…
“I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance”
"I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I think travel therapy and vacation ought to be covered by health…
“I wish Twitter had like a comedy mode where you would only see funny tweets”
Many people want to see humor on social media, and not political arguments. "I wish there was a way to only see funny tweets" was posted on X/Twitter by You on May 12, 2018. "I wish…
“I wish we could donate body fat to those in need”
"I wish we could donate body fat to those in need" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I think it should be possible for people to donate excess body fat to those in…
“I wish we could donate bodyfat to those in need”
"I wish we could donate body fat to those in need" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I think it should be possible for people to donate excess body fat to those in…
“I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully I was at work”
"I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully I was at work" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the speaker wasn't…
“I woke up this morning and realized I don’t have what it takes to sit back and be average”
Entry in progress -- B.P. 15 October 2017, Journal-Gazette (Fort Wayne, IN), "Lead On: Authors shed light as bosses have their day," pg. H2:Here's a few sayings that surfaced on…
“I woke up this morning to a robber in my house searching for money. I joined him”
A joke has it that a person (who has no money) is sleeping, but then hears that his house is being robbed: "I woke up this morning to a robber in my house searching for money. I joined…
“I woke up this morning to a robber in my house searching for money. I joined him”
A joke has it that a person (who has no money) is sleeping, but then hears that his house is being robbed: "I woke up this morning to a robber in my house searching for money. I joined…
“I woke up with a face full of rice. I must have fell asleep as my head hit the pilau”
"Pilaf" (U.S. spelling) is a rice dish that is spelled "pilau" in the United Kingdom, and, of course, there are "pillow" jokes. "I slept in a bed of rice last…
“I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day”
"I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that's enough for one day" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I woke up, got out of bed and had…
“I won my first cage fight last night. That parrot didn’t know what hit it”
"Cage fighting" doesn't involve bird cages, but there are jokes. "Won my first cage fight earlier today.... Fucking budgie never knew what hit it...." was posted on Twitter…
“I won the school punctuation competition. They gave me a posh trophy”
"Apostrophe" can sound like "a posh trophy." "I won an award for my punctuation. They gave me a posh trophy" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia_Feed on…
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food”
"I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts and posters. "i look forward to…
“I won’t go to Macy’s any more, more, more” (jump-rope jingle, 1938)
"I won't go to Macy's any more, more, more" is a New York City "jump rope jingle" that involves Macy's department store. It has been cited in print since at least…
“I won’t use someone’s pronouns for the same reason I won’t talk to a schizophrenic’s imaginary friends”
"I won't use someone's pronouns for the same reason I won't talk to a schizophrenic's imaginary friends" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker…
“I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb”
"I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "When I tweet I wonder how many miles my thumb scrolled" was posted on…