“A lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer”
Both dentists/orthodontists and lawyers have "retainers." "A lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor.jewish on…
Nicknames/Slogans
“A lawyer helps you get what’s coming to him”
"A lawyer helps you get what’s coming to him" is a jocular saying of unknown authorship that has been cited in print since at least December 1948. American composer and comedian Oscar…
“A lawyer is someone who writes an 80-page document, and calls it a ‘brief’”
What a lawyer calls a "brief" if often very long. Jokes about this date to at least 1884. "A lawyer calls it a brief and then makes it 96 pages in length" was printed in the…
“A lawyer prevents somebody else from getting your money”
"A lawyer is a man who prevents anyone else from getting your money" is a jocular saying about lawyers that has been cited in print since at least 1955. The Chicago (IL)
“A lawyer’s time and advice are his stock in trade”
"A lawyer's time and advice are his stock in trade" is a classic legal aphorism that is often credited to Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865), but there's no evidence that he said it.…
“A lawyer’s first duty is to make sure that only the client goes to jail”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Lawyers with TroublesTrust Advice; Old Joke – Who goes to jail at the end of the day?; Cameras – get you canned – NSFWPosted on August 15, 2013 by Ted Waggoner(...)I…
“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way”
"A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way" is a frequently used saying about leadership. H. Reginald Buckler (1840-1927) wrote in 1889: "And what is it to be…
“A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not”
"A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not" means that even a leader's flaws (something not intended to be seen) are examples of leadership. The popular saying is…
“A leader must inspire or his team will expire”
"A leader must inspire or his team will expire" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "A leader must inspire or his team will expire" was posted on…
“A leadoff walk always scores” (baseball adage)
A leadoff walk is a bad way for a pitcher to start an inning. "A leadoff walk always scores" is a baseball adage of unknown authorship. "We have a rule around here that says a…
“A liberal is a man too broad-minded to take his own side in a quarrel”
"A liberal is a man too broad-minded to take his own side in a quarrel" is usually credited to American poet Robert Frost (1874-1963). Frost used the quote in January 1961 (discussing…
“A liberal is a man who leaves the room when the fight begins”
New York newspaper columnist Heywood Broun (1888-1939) is known for saying: "A liberal is a man who leaves the room when the fight begins." Broun was a socialist who believed that…
“A liberal is a man with both feet planted firmly in the air”
"A liberal is a man with both feet planted firmly in the air" is the usual form of this saying, but "liberal" is often replaced with other terms and "planted firmly"…
“A liberal is a person who will give away everything he doesn’t own”
"A liberal is a man (person) who will give away everything he doesn't (they don't) own" has been credited to Frank Dane (in the 1980s and in internet newsgroups since 2000) and…
“A liberal is a person whose interests aren’t at stake at the moment”
"A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment" is a statement that appeared in the November 1966 Reader's Digest. The saying was attributed to Willis…
“A libertarian is a conservative who’s been busted”
"A neoconservative is a liberal who has been mugged by reality" has been credited to Irving Kristol's writing from 1983. "A libertarian is a conservative who's been…
“A libertarian is a liberal who learned economics”
"A libertarian is a liberal who learned economics" is a jocular one-line saying that appears in many lists of libertarian jokes. The saying has been cited in print since at least 2004 and…
“A libertarian is a Republican who smokes pot”
"A libertarian is a Republican/Conservative who smokes pot" is a frequently told political joke. American anarchist writer Bob Black spoke in 1984 on "The Libertarian as…
“A libertarian is someone who believes in the non-aggression principle…”
"'A libertarian is someone who believes in the non-aggression principle. An anarchist is someone who understands it. An agorist is someone who practices it.'— Mike Zentz" was…
“A library is a hospital for the mind”
"A library is a hospital for the mind" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The library of the tomb complex of Ramses II (1279-1213 BC) at Thebes, Egypt, was inscribed with…