"The best reply to an atheist is to give him a good dinner and ask him if he believes there is a cook," wrote attorney and author Louis Nizer (1902-1994) on August 17, 1945, in a…
A fundraising adage says that if you ask for money, you get advice instead. However, if you ask for advice, you'll eventually get money. "Don't simply ask for money. Ask for…
"Don't ask why children need to see drag queens. Ask why drag queens crave an audience of children" (or "Ask not why the children shouldn’t see drag queens; ask why drag…
"Ask your doctor if medical advice from a television commercial is right for you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Medical companies often advise to "ask…
A person who enters a coffee shop and orders a "medium roast" probably doesn't want a light ribbing, but there are many jokes. "Asked for a medium roast at Starbucks and the…
"Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp post how it feels about dogs" was said by playwright Christopher Hampton (born in 1946) in the Sunday Times…
"Asking government to fix government is like asking cancer to cure cancer" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Unfortunately asking government to fix itself is a lot…
"Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the answer is "Yes." "Asking me if I'm…
"Aspire to inspire before you expire" is a saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, bumper stickers and T-shirts. Tullah Hanley, a former belly dancer who became…
"Assault is a behavior, not a device" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on several images. The saying is a comment on the term "assault weapon." "ASSAULT is a…
A popular economics joke has a physicist, a chemist, and an economist all stranded on a desert island. There is one can of food, but nothing to open it with. The physicist presents his proposed…
"Asthma Alley" was probably coined by Jerome Kretchmer, an environmental protection administrator, in 1970. Parts of the south Bronx, western Queens, and Harlem have all been called an…
"In space, no one can hear you scream" is an advertising tagline for the film Alien (1979) that was created by Barbara Gips. A joke was posted on Twitter by Mrs L on October 16, 2011:…
"Astronauts use Linux because you can't open Windows in space" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Carla Notarobot on November 7, 2020, but it went viral when it was posted again…
The stars are over our heads, but what about the study of astronomy? "RT @monkjail: I was thinking of studying astronomy, but I fear it's all a bit over my head" was posted on…
The year 2020 had some "2020 vision" jokes. This was posted on Facebook by Joe Haenn on December 18, 2020: "At 12:01 am on Jan 1, for the first time ever, Hind Sight will actually be…
Many people are surprised that some vodka is made from potatoes. A curse word is often used, causing confusion and humor. "wait wait vodka is made from fucking potatoes? #mindfucked" was…
Texas billionaire H. Ross Perot did not like the practices at General Motors, the company that bought Perot's Electronic Data Systems. GM, Perot said, bogs things down with a committee system.…
"I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitoes find me attractive" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, by "find me attractive" it's…
"On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell" and "At least my coffee won't get cold in hell" are jocular coffee sayings that have been printed on many…