“A sheep, a drum and a snake walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
The rimshot became famous as a drummer's support of a comedian after a (usually bad or unusually corny) joke. The drum sounds are written as "boom boom" and "ba dum tss."…
Education/Schools
“A ship does not sail with yesterday’s wind” (political proverb)
Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan accepted the Republican National Convention's nomination for vice president in August 2012, pointing out failures of the incumbent Democratic administration…
“A sign for a strip club during the day: ‘Sorry, we’re clothed’”
"Sorry, we're clothed" -- a pun on the popular "Sorry, we're closed" sign -- has been printed on many images. "On the door of a Los Angeles strip joint, after a…
“A sign said ‘Lobster Tails $2.’ I paid $2 and was told, ‘Once upon a time there was a lobster…’”
"Lobster tails" shouldn't be confused with "lobster tales," but there are jokes. "Once upon a time there was a lobster… #lobstertales" was posted on Twitter by…
“A signature reveals a man’s character—and sometimes even his name”
"A signature always reveals a man's character — and sometimes even his name" is a jocular line that has been credited to humorist and author Evan Esar (1899-1995), who included it…
“A simile walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A simile version is: "A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert." "A…
“A single bee is ignored, but when millions come together, even the bravest run in fear”
“A single bee is ignored, but when millions come together, even the bravest run in fear. The one thing the government fears is the day we stand together” is a saying that has been printed on…
“A single kernel of corn is a unicorn”
The fictional "unicorn" animal is not "a single piece of corn," but the joke has been printed on many images. "So is a unicorn like one single piece of corn?" was…
“A single piece of corn is technically a unicorn”
The fictional "unicorn" animal is not "a single piece of corn," but the joke has been printed on many images. "So is a unicorn like one single piece of corn?" was…
“A six-sided man walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A hexagon version is: "A six-sided man walks into a bar and orders a gon. The…
“A skeleton walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One popular joke is: "A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Bartender, give me a…
“A skyscraper is a machine that makes the land pay”
"The building is merely the machine that makes the land pay," architect Cass Gilbert (1859-1934) said in 1900 about the new skyscrapers popping up in big cities. Gilbert would become even…
“A sloppy joe is just a chili sandwich”
A sloppy joe sandwich has been compared to chili, made into a chili sandwich. "A chili sandwich? You mean a sloppy Joe?" was posted on Twitter by Callie Kimball on February 23, 2010.…
“A slurpee is just a boneless popsicle”
Ice cream (and other frozen desserts) usually does not have the stick that a popsicle has. Some people have called these frozen desserts "boneless popsicles." "Ice cream is just…
“A small carafe of wine is illogical, immoral and inadequate”
"A small carafe of wine is illogical, immoral and inadequate" has been printed on an image. "Chuck’s Conclusion: A small carafe of wine is illogical, immoral, and inadequate"…
“A small meteorite is reportedly headed for Legoland. The damage is expected to be 50 square blocks”
"A meteorite is reportedly headed for Legoland. The devastation is expected to span a million square blocks" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Jonnie W. on February 17, 2013. Legos…
“A smart ass can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is”
A definition of a "smartass" was given by Bronx-born comedian Joey Bishop in 1975: "That's someone who, blindfolded and naked, can sit on a plate of ice-cream and tell you what…
“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight”
Smiles -- such as "service with a smile" -- can be an important part of business etiquette. "A smile is a curve that sets everything straight" is saying that was popularized in…
“A smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a swimming pool”
"A smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a swimming pool" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on posters and has been cited in print since at least…
“A smoothie implies the existence of a roughie”
There are "smoothies," but no "roughies." "A smoothie implies the existence of a roughie" was posted on Twitter by 𝕷𝖎𝖑 𝕴𝖓𝖘𝖊𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖊 on…