“‘Fixin’ to’ is the state verb of Texas”
"Fixin' to" has been used in the South since at least the 1840s. Many Texans use this figure of speech frequently. "Fixin' to - The state verb of Texas" was posted on…
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“‘Follow the money’ is much wiser advice than ‘follow the science’”
"Follow the money" is an old saying, used in politics and in business. "Follow the science" became a popular catchphrase during the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. Many people…
“‘For the greater good’ almost always means ‘this will be bad for you’”
Governments often ask citizens to make individual sacrifices "for the greater good." American libertarian political activist, entrepreneur, and podcaster Spike Cohen wrote on X/Twitter on…
“‘Gastronomy’ implies the existence of an occult science of gastrology”
Some people joke that as astronomy is to astrology, then gastronomy is to gastrology. "Gastronomy implies the existence of gastrology" was posted on X/Twitter by Mr Roger Quimbly on March…
“‘Gun control’ is the government using guns to control you”
What does "gun control" mean? "'GUN CONTROL' is the GOVERNMENT using GUNS to control YOU" (shown on an image) was posted on X/Twitter by Edgar Friendly ⬛️🟨 on…
“‘I can’t fix my life. But I can fix the world,’ said the socialist”
Socialists (and socialism) have been criticized for not being successful, but for pushing that failure on the world. A saying was posted on Twitter by Alice Smith on April 9, 2021: "'I…
“‘I could watch him play video games for hours,’ said no one’s wife, ever”
A man playing video games is usually not a part of a romantic relationship. "'I could watch him play video games for hours,' said no one’s wife, ever" is a jocular line that…
“‘I don’t see color,’ she said, as she ran the traffic light”
"I don't see color" is an expression meaning that the color of someone's skin is not relevant to this person. A traffic light joke takes this expression literally. "'I…
“‘I don’t stop drinking because the owner of the bar has a family to feed,’ says a drunk”
"I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several variations of the…
“‘I hate tacos!’ said no Juan ever”
"...said no one ever" is an Internet meme that became popular in January 2012. People thought of "...said no Juan ever," and Mexican food was added to the first part of the…
“‘I have a split personality,’ said Tom, being Frank”
"'I have a split personality' said Tom being Frank" is a joke that was posted on the website Pun of the Day in 1999. "Frank" is a name and "frank" is also a…
“‘I have multiple personality disorder,’ said Tom, being Frank”
"'I have a split personality' said Tom being Frank" is a joke that was posted on the website Pun of the Day in 1999. "Frank" is a name and "frank" is also a…
“‘I just caught a terrorist!’ said no TSA agent ever”
The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) was created after the September 11, 2001 attacks to improve airport security procedures. Many people believe that the TSA does nothing and is mostly…
“‘I know a word that uses all six vowels including ‘y’ in alphabetical order,’ said Tom facetiously”
A-E-I-O-U-Y are the English vowels, in order. There are several English words that
“‘I love turning the clocks back so it gets dark by 4 pm’ Said no one ever”
"'I love turning the clocks back so it gets dark by 4pm' said no one ever" (shown on an image) was posted on Twitter by Sent-Well.com (and others) on November 1, 2014. The same…
“‘I must do something’ will always solve more problems than ‘Something must be done’”
"'I must do something' will always solve more problems than 'Something must be done'" is a saying that has been printed on posters. The saying has been cited in print…
“‘I only have diamonds, clubs and spades,’ said Tom heartlessly”
A "Tom Swifty" about playing cards was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on March 18, 2000: "'I only have diamonds, clubs and spades,' said Tom heartlessly."…
“‘I ran a half marathon’ sounds so much better than ‘I quit halfway through a marathon’”
"I ran a half-marathon! Small print: I entered a marathon and gave up halfway through" was cited on Twitter on September 24, 2013. The joke became viral with Rick Aaron's tweet on…
“‘I see,’ said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw”
"'I see,' said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw" is a form of pun known as a "Wellerism." "A country paper, in speaking of a blind wood…
“‘I’ before ‘E,’ except in Budweiser”
"I before E except after C" is an old spelling rule, but there are many exceptions. Budweiser is one of the highest selling beers in the United States. The beer joke "I before E…