“How can you tell when a politician is lying? His lips are moving!”
"How can you tell when a politician is lying?" is the start of an old joke. The answer: "His lips are moving." "How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?" is the most…
Work/Businesses
“How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?”/“When the other tenors notice.”
A tenor riddle is: Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?A: When the other tenors notice. The tenor joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.music.classical on May 5, 1993. Wikipedia:…
“How can you tell when an engineer is an extrovert?”/“He stares at YOUR shoes when he talks to you.”
A popular joke told about engineers (and actuaries and probably many other professions) is: Q: How can you tell when an engineer is an extrovert?A: He stares at your shoes when he talks to you. The…
“How can you tell which one of your friends got a good Black Friday deal?” (joke)
One shopping aspect about "Black Friday" is people constantly talking about the deals that they found. A riddle is: Q: How can you tell which one of your friends got a good Black Friday…
“How can you tell who owns bitcoin at a party?”/“Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
“How do you know if someone is a vegan?"/"Don’t worry, they’ll tell you" is a classic joke. There is a version for bitcoin. "How do you know when someone is a Bitcoin…
“How come ‘you’re a peach’ is a compliment but ‘you’re bananas’ is an insult?”
"How come 'you're a peach' is a compliment but 'you're bananas' is an insult?" That's a good question. Peaches are soft and fuzzy. A woman might have a…
“How come 8 hours at home take 20 mins, but 8 hours at work take 6 days”
"How come 8 hours at home take 20 minutes, but 8 hours at work take 6 days?" was posted on Twitter by JR🏋🏾♂️😈💪🏾 on March 12, 2020. "How come 8 hours at home…
“How come alcohol never kills brain cells that make me want to drink?”
“How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?” ~Anonymous" has been cited in print since at least September 2007 and has been…
“How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?”
"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) asked the question in her…
“How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics?”
Ants always seem to be working, and there's a joke: "How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics?" The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“How come liquor stores don’t have empty shelves? People are about to be quarantined with spouses”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak saw people panic buying items such as water and toilet paper. "Why don’t liquor stores have empty shelves?? Do people not realize they’re about to be…
“How come married women are heavier than single women?” (joke)
A joke comparing the weight of married women and single women was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 24, 2016: "Why are married women always fatter than single women? Single women come home,…
“How come so many small towns are named after water towers?”
"Have you ever noticed how many towns are named after their water towers?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "How come so many small towns are named after…
“How come there is enough asphalt for speed bumps, but not enough to fill pot holes?”
"How come there is enough asphalt for speed bumps, but not enough to fill pot holes?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has several slight variations. "Why…
“How come, if ants are always so busy, they always get time to show up at picnics?”
Ants have a worker reputation, but is it true? "How can ants be such hard workers when they always have time to show up at picnics?" is a jocular line that was printed in a 1973…
“How come, when my wife says ‘we need to talk,’ it’s never about football?”
A joke was posted on Twitter by FunnyOneLiners on January 7, 2010: "How come, when my wife says 'we need to talk,' it's never about football?" "Football" in…
“How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?”/“He prawned everything.”
"Prawn" sounds to some like "pawn." A riddle is: Q: How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?A: He prawned everything. The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“How December 2020 is going to look like: ‘Merry Crisis and a Happy New Fear’”
"Merry crisis and a happy new fear" -- a pun on "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" -- has been printed on many images. The saying is from graffiti that was painted on the…
“How did a generation raised on South Park and Family Guy become so offended by everything?”
"How did a generation raised on South Park and family guy become so offended by everything" was posted on X/Twitter by lex del rey (@lexintheA) on February 23, 2019. (The tweet had over…
“How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?” (restaurant joke)
A popular joke is told about the fast food restaurants Dairy Queen and Burger King (home of the Whopper sandwich): Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?A: Because Burger King forgot to…