“90% of the regrets in my life involve alcohol and the ‘send’ button”
"90% of the regrets in my life involve alcohol and the 'send' button" is a jocular drinking saying that has been printed on many images. The saying refers to drunk…
Work/Businesses
“95% of electric vehicles are still on the road. The remaining 5% made it all the way home”
"95% of electric vehicles are still on the road. The remaining 5% made it all the way home" is a joke that has been printed on several images. The speaker believes that electric cars…
“99 little bugs in the code” (programming joke)
The song "99 Bottles of Beer" goes: 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer.Take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall... A computer version that has been…
“99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of intelligent people”
"99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of intelligent people" is a joke that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 19, 2014. The speaker is not intelligent --…
“99% of my personality is just coffee and I’m OK with that”
"As it turns out, 93% of my personality was (just) coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. “@Gregospeck: I have discovered that 92% of my personality is…
“A ‘conspiracy theorist’ is someone who figures out the truth before most people”
An image has been cited in print since at least May 28, 2022: DAUGHTER: "Mom, what's a conspiracy theorist?"MOTHER: "Somebody who figures out the truth before most people,…
“A $300 bat won’t fix your 50 cent swing” (baseball adage)
Baseball bats can be expensive, but an expensive bat doesn't automatically turn a player into a good hitter. "A $300 bat won't fix your 50 cent swing" is a baseball adage of…
“A 20 Hz sine wave walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A physics version is: "A time-stretched sinusoid walks into a bar. The bartender asks,…
“A 350 credit score prevents identity theft”
"A 350 credit score prevents identity theft" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A 350 credit score is very poor, and something no one would want to steal.…
“A baby can drink a bottle, fall asleep and people say it’s cute. If I do it. I’m an alcoholic”
"A baby drinks a bottle and falls asleep and it's totally fine. I drink a bottle and fall asleep and I'm an alcoholic. Totally unfair" is a jocular saying that has been printed…
“A baby seal walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular seal joke is: "A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender says,…
“A backward poet writes inverse”
"A backward(s) poet writes inverse" is a pun that has been printed on many T-shirts and GIFs. Authorship of the joke is unknown, but the one-liner has been cited in print since at least…
“A backyard barbecue draws two things ... flies and relatives”
"A backyard barbecue draws two things...flies and relatives" was popularized by a list of "Truisms" that has been on the Internet since 2003. The saying has been put on…
“A bacon a day keeps the vegans away”
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away" is a famous saying. Several sayings expressing what keeps vegans away have been printed on several images. "A rib a day keeps the vegans…
“A bad day of fishing is better than a good day of work”
"A bad day (of) fishing is better than a good day of work" has been put on gift items (such as bumper stickers, T-shirts and signs) since at least 1986. "A bad day fishing is better…
“A bad day with coffee is better than a good day without it”
"A bad day with coffee is better than a good day without it" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "A bad day with coffee is better than a good day with a…
“A bad football team is like an old bra—no cups and very little support”
A popular quotation about soccer (football) is: "A bad football team is like an old bra -- no cups and very little support." The sports saying has been cited in print since at least 1998…
“A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer, for even longer”
A popular lawyer joke is: "What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A bad lawyer can let a case drag on for years; a good lawyer can make it last even longer."…
“A bad plan is better than no plan” (chess adage)
"A bad plan is better than no plan (at all)" is a popular chess adage that is also used in business. Chess champion Emanuel Lasker (1868-1941) wrote in Chess Strategy (1915): "An…
“A bad play saved by a bad performance” (Broadway saying)
The playwright and drama critic George S. Kaufman (1889-1961) has been said to have reviewed the comedic play Skylark (1939), by Samson Raphelson, that starred the English actress Gertrude Lawrence…