“Customer: I have a question about my account. Teller: Withdrawal?” (joke)
"Withdrawal" shouldn't be confused with "with drawl," but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by meghan on April 5, 2021: Customer: I have a question about my…
Time/Weather
“Cut a newsman and he bleeds ink”
Entry in progress -- B.P. 19 December 1995, The Gleaner (Kingston, Jamaica), pg. 10B, col. 2:Mr. Barrington Simpson has been a member of the staff since 1971. he joined the JIS family as a Press…
“Cut the mustard”
Entry in progress -- B.P. (Oxford English Dictionary)mustard, n. and adj.slang (orig. U.S.). Something which adds piquancy or zest; that which sets the standard or is the best of anything. to cut…
“Cut thin to win” (card-cutter’s axiom)
The card-cutting expression "cut thin to win" was popularized by the 1965 book of that name by A. A. Fair (Erie Stanley Gardner). The saying means to cut only a few cards at the top of…
“Cut up like boarding house pie” (many small pieces)
A boarding house usually has many boarders; boarding house pie is cut in many small slices so that each boarder has a piece. Anything that is cut many times into small pieces is said to be…
“Cut war, not welfare”
"Cut war, not welfare" is a protest saying that has been printed on many images. The slogan has been used at many protest marches. "Cut war, not welfare" was first used on a…
“Cut your losses and let your profits run” (Wall Street proverb)
"Cut your losses (short) and let your profits run" is an old Wall Street adage, cited in print from at least 1837. The proverb is frequently attributed to British economist David Ricardo…
“Cut-off low, weatherman’s woe”
"Cut-off low, weatherman's woe" was a catchphrase of Dr. George Fishbeck, a television weatherman at KABC-TV in Los Angeles, California from 1972 to 1990. A cut-off low is a low…
“Cuts for the sluts” (weightlifting saying)
Entry in progress -- B.P. "Curls for the girls" is a similar saying that has been cited in print since at least 1981. Other weightlifting sayings include "benches for the…
“Cyber Monday—The one time a year that people look forward to Monday mornings”
"Cyber Monday -- The one time a year that people look forward to Monday mornings" is a Monday saying that has been printed on an ecard. The saying was posted on Twitter by The…
“Dad used to say ‘the sky’s the limit.’ Which is probably why he got fired from NASA”
A joke about the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) was posted on Twitter on May 20, 2017: "My Grandpa always said 'the sky's the limit' to encourage me. Now I…
“Dad, a boy at school called me gay!” (joke)
A joke about being called "gay" at school is: SON: Dad, a boy at school called me gay!FATHER: Hit him!SON: I can't. He's so cute! The joke has been posted on Twitter since at…
“Dad, are we pyromaniacs?”/“Yes, we arson.”
"Arson" sounds like "are son." A pun was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on August 9, 2018: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"“Yes, we arson.” Reddit -- Dad JokesDad, are we…
“Dad, can you do my math homework for me?”/“No, son, it wouldn’t be right.”
A homework joke is: Son: Dad, can you do my math homework for me?Dad: No. son, it wouldn't be right.Son: Well, at least you could try. The joke is that the father is saying that it…
“Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?”/“No sun.”
There are many jokes with "son" and "sun." This was posted on Twitter by Landen Crouch on August 21, 2017: Boy: Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?Dad: No sun. The…
“Dad, what are clouds made of?”/“Linux servers, mostly.”
A joke about cloud computing was posted on Twitter on May 19, 2017: SON: Daddy, what are clouds made of?DAD: Linux servers mostly. The joke has been printed on several images. Wikipedia: Cloud…
“Dad, what’s a forklift?”/“Food, usually.”
A "fork lift"/"forklift" riddle was posted on Twitter by Blick Winkel (H. Anthony L. Israel) on March 3, 2019: What's a fork lift?(Food) A dad joke was posted on Reddit --…
“Dad, when I grow up, I want to be a feminist”
A popular feminist joke is: Daughter: Dad, when I grow up, I want to be a feminist.Father: Well, pick one. You can't do both. The joke was posted on Twitter on June 11, 2015 and was first…
“Dairy is scary”
"Dairy is scary" is an anti-dairy saying that has been printed on many images. The "scary" parts include both the production or milk and the human consumption effects of milk.…
“Damn girl, are you a cop? Because you just took my breath away”
The deaths of African Americans such as Eric Garner (in Staten Island on July 17, 2014) and George Floyd (in Minneapolis on May 25, 2020) at the hands of police resulted in protests. Garner was…