“2 stages of my life: I should eat & I shouldn’t have eaten that much”
Two stages of thinking about food defines one's life, at least according to a post on Twitter by Sarcasm Society on June 29, 2016: "2 stages of my life :1) I should eat.2) I…
Time/Weather
“2 teach is 2 touch a life 4 ever”
A popular saying about teaching (based on 2+2=4) is: 2 teach is2 touch a life----4 ever The saying has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, T-shirts and mugs. "2 teach is 2 touch…
“2 ways to stay healthy: Drink plenty of water and mind your business”
"Drink water & mind your business" (also "Good morning. Don't forget to drink water and mind your own business," among other variations) is a saying that has been…
“2-step verification implies the existence of cha cha verification”
Sometimes authentication/verification involves several steps, such as "two-factor authentication" or "2-step verification." This has nothing to do with the "two-step"…
“20 years from now kids are going to realize their quarantine haircuts were done by dad’s…”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic led to quarantines and the closing of barber shops. Many people cut their hair at home. "20 years from now kids are going to realize their quarantine…
“2000-2009 were the glory years for New Year’s Eve party glasses”
From 2000 to 2009, many people wore novelty New Year's Eve glasses with the year on them. The "0" numbers were for the eyes. The New Year's Eve glasses still were made after…
“2019: Avoid negative people. 2020: Avoid positive people. 2021: Avoid people”
"2019: Avoid negative people. 2020: Avoid positive people. 2021: Avoid people" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke was told during the Covid-19 (coronavirus)…
“2019: live, laugh, love. 2020: lather, rinse, repeat”
"Live, Laugh, Love" is a saying from a 1904 poem by Bessie Anderson Stanley. "Lather, rinse, repeat" is a saying about applying shampoo. The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made…
“2020 has shown me you don’t need fun to have alcohol”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led to many people quarantining at home. Liquor stores were left open, and many people drank. "Quarantine has shown me that you really don’t need fun to…
“2020 is still better than my first marriage”
The year 2020 was a difficult one for many because of the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "2020 is still better than my first marriage" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“2020: The year health experts told you to avoid the gym”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic caused many gyms to close. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on November 17, 2020: "2020: The year health experts told you to avoid the…
“2020: The year your wheelie bin goes out more than you”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people being quarantined in their homes. The garbage and recycling bins left the home more than many people. "2020: The year your wheelie…
“22/7 is Pi day. 14/3 is American Pi day”
Pi Day is March 14th (3/14), just as Pi is "3.14." However, many non-U.S. countries represent dates by day-month, making this date 14/3. The date of 3/14 is "American Pi (Day)."…
“24 hours from vine to brine” (pickling adage)
Cucumbers must be fresh -- no more than a day from when cut from the vine -- in order to make the best pickles. The old rule is, "24 hours from vine to brine." "Twenty-four hours…
“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.” (Newman Day)
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." This line has often been attributed to the comedian Steven Wright, but it's uncertain when (or if) he used it in a…
“25% of a pool is P”
"25% of every pool is p" was posted on Twitter by David on April 7, 2015. "P" is one of four letters in the word "pool," but the real joke is about the word…
“3 generations ago, organic food was just called ‘food’”
"3 generations ago, organic food was just called 'food'" was posted on Twitter by MODERN MAN on January 20, 2022. V“Try Organic Food…or as your grandparents called it,…
“3 places you can stay for free: out my business, out my way and out my face”
"places you can stay absolutely free: - over there - in your lane - out of my business" was posted on Twitter by @stfufeeIs on December 26, 2020. "Top 3 places you can STAY…
“3 things to keep private: your love life, your income and your next move”
"3 things to keep private: your love life, your income and your next move" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Keep your next move, income, and your love life…
“3.14% of sailors are pi rates”
"3.14% of sailors are Pi Rates" is a pirate joke that has been printed on images. "3,14% of sailors are Pi Rates" (from SnorgTees T-shirts) was posted on Twitter on February 24,…