“‘Moderate Republican’—that’s kind of like having a gun rack on a Volvo”
"'Moderate Republican' -- that's kind of like having a gun rack on a Volvo" (also, "'Compassionate Conservative -- that's kind of like having a gun rack on a…
Food/Drink
“‘More coffee, Hun?’—Southern waitress serving Attila”
Many Southern waitresses, according to the stereotype, address a diner with "hon" (honey). This as nothing to do with Attila the Hun, but there are jokes. "I get called…
“‘Muffins’ spelled backwards is ‘Sniffum’”
"Do you realize that 'Muffins' spelled backwards is 'Sniffum'?" was posted on the newsgroup alt.games.subspace on October 30, 1998. "Sniffum" sounds like…
“‘Need’ now means wanting someone else’s money; ‘greed’ means keeping your own”
AMerican journalist and writer Joe Sobran (1946-2010) wrote in The Economics of Liberty (1990); In the current political vocabulary, 'need' means wanting to get someone else's money.…
“‘Never eat raw cookie dough’ sounds like a lie made up a long time ago by some guy that sold ovens”
Eating raw cookie dough comes with health risks. This comment was posted on X/Twitter by The Dad on February 27, 2018: "'Never eat raw cookie dough' sounds like a lie made up a long…
“‘News’ is an acronym—Notable Events, Weather, and Sports”
The word "news" comes from "new." It is not an acronym for "North-East-West-South," or anything else, but a backronym (back acronym) went viral in May and June 2017.…
“‘No lemon, no melon’ backwards is ‘No lemon, no melon’”
Entry in progress. -- B.P. Reddit -- Shower Thoughts'No lemon, no melon' backwards is 'No lemon, no melon'submitted December 25, 2017 by MazkaraManik
“‘No thanks, I’m vegetarian’ is a fun thing to say when someone tries to hand you their baby”
"'No thanks, I'm vegetarian' is a fun thing to say when someone tries to hand you their baby" ( or "'No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian,' is a fun thing to…
“‘No, thanks. I’m a vegetarian,’ is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby”
"'No thanks, I'm vegetarian' is a fun thing to say when someone tries to hand you their baby" ( or "'No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian,' is a fun thing to…
“‘Nobody wants to work anymore’ personally I have never wanted to work”
"Nobody wants to work anymore" is a popular complaint, especially by employers. This was posted on X/Twitter by jon drake on April 6, 2022, and received over 568,000 likes:…
“‘Nouvelle cuisine’ is French for ‘not enough food’”
The term "nouvelle cuisine" (French for "new cuisine") was popularized in the 1960s and was characterized by an attractive food display of small portions. "Nouvelle Cuisine…
“‘Now, here’s something you don’t see every day….’ A phrase rendered obsolete by WhatsApp”
WhatsApp is a freeware, cross-platform, centralized instant messaging (IM) and voice-over-IP (VoIP) service. There are many messages, of all kinds, on WhatsApp. A joke was posted on Sickipedia on…
“‘OK Boomer,’ said the currant to the elderberry”
An "elderberry" isn't necessarily "elder," but there are jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners and Twitter by dadlifememes on May 14, 2020: "'OK…
“‘Old’ is when your wife says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love’” (joke)
Climbing stairs can be a challenge as people get older. "'Old' is when your wife says 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you reply, 'Honey, I can't do…
“‘Onced’ and ‘twiced’ are words”
Entry in progress -- B.P. British Expat Discussion Forumdoctor scrumpySep 2nd 2003, 11:55 am Things I've Learned About Virginia (...)Onced and Twiced are words. Southern Maryland Community…
“‘Party Animals’ know when the liquor stores close. Alcoholics know when the liquor stores open”
"If you know when the liquor store closes you are crafty. If you know when the liquor store opens you are an alcoholic" was posted on Twitter by Griffin Danes on June 14, 2013.…
“‘Per my last email’ is office speak for ‘bitch can you read’”
"Per mail last email" is another way of saying, "I'm telling you again. Listen this time!" "As per my last email=bitch can you read?" was posted on Twitter by…
“‘Pour me,’ thought the teapot”
"Poor me" should not be confused with "pour me," but there are jokes. "I used to live in a teapot. I know what you're thinking. Poor you" is a pun by English…
“‘Probiotic’ sounds a lot better than ‘bacteria infested’”
"Probiotic" sounds like something good, but some people might not like it if it went by another name. "'Probiotic' sounds a lot sexier that 'dead bacteria…
“‘Quotes on the Internet are becoming less and less reliable.’—Abraham Lincoln”
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) said many famous quotes, but has many more quotations falsely attributed to him. The Internet (invented over 100 years after Lincoln's death) is full of the real…