“‘I see,’ said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw”
"'I see,' said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw" is a form of pun known as a "Wellerism." "A country paper, in speaking of a blind wood…
Food/Drink
“‘I’ before ‘E,’ except in Budweiser”
"I before E except after C" is an old spelling rule, but there are many exceptions. Budweiser is one of the highest selling beers in the United States. The beer joke "I before E…
“‘I’ before ‘E,’ except when you run a feisty heist on your weird beige overweight foreign neighbor”
"I" before"E" is an English spelling rule, with many exceptions -- such as "neighbor" and "neighborhood." "'I'before 'E,' except…
“‘I’ is the only difference between fit and fat”
"'I' is the only difference between fit and fat" (or "'I' is the only difference between fat and fit") is a motivational saying that has been printed on…
“‘I’ll have a hot dog,’ Tom said frankly”
A "Tom Swifty" (or "Tom Swiftie") is a quoted sentence with a related pun in the attribution. "'I had a hot dog for lunch,' Tom said frankly" was printed in…
“‘I’m just gonna get gas in the morning” is one of the worst decisions you can make as an adult”
Many people drive home from work and are tired, and they tell themselves that they will get gas in the morning. However, in the morning they have to wake up early, there is traffic, the gas station…
“‘I’m leaving Twitter’ is the new ‘I’m moving to Canada’”
During the 2016 U.S. presidential election, many liberals stated that they would move to Canada is Donald Trump (a Republican) were to be elected president. he was elected, but not many of these…
“‘I’m offended’ is the debate equivalent of flipping over the board game when you start losing”
"'I'm offended' is the debate equivalent of flipping over the board game when you start losing" is a saying that has been printed on several images. That is, "I'm…
“‘Iced coffee’ sounds cool but ‘cold coffee’ sounds gross”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Twittervince@v_c_17How come we like iced coffee but dislike cold coffee?12:37 PM · May 19, 2020·Twitter for Android Reddit -- ShowerthoughtsPosted by u/IlConteiacula…
“‘Is Pepsi OK?’—World’s worst drug dealer”
Many diners ask for "coke" when they want a soda. If the establishment has Pepsi cola instead of Coca-Cola, a server usually asks, "Is Pepsi okay (as a substitute drink)?" Pepsi…
“‘It’s been a long week,’ I say in the middle of the day on Tuesday”
"'It's been a long week.' -- Me, in the middle of Tuesday" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The work week is usually Monday through Friday.…
“‘It’s been a long week.’—Me, in the middle of Tuesday”
"'It's been a long week.' -- Me, in the middle of Tuesday" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The work week is usually Monday through Friday.…
“‘It’s June already?!’ said Tom, dismayed”
The word "dismay" has nothing to do with the month of May, but there are jokes. "Good morning, everyone. It's June 1. We are disMAYed" was posted on Twitter by El Gecko on…
“‘It’s just been a rough week.’—Me, in the middle of Tuesday”
"'It's been a long week.' -- Me, in the middle of Tuesday" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The work week is usually Monday through Friday.…
“‘Lasagna’ is French for ‘the sagna’”
"Lasagne" (singular "lasagna") is an Italian word and not French, but some people think it means "la sagne/sagna," or "the sagne/sagna." "Is Lasagna…
“‘Lasagne’ is French for ‘the sagne’”
"Lasagne" (singular "lasagna") is an Italian word and not French, but some people think it means "la sagne/sagna," or "the sagne/sagna." "Is Lasagna…
“‘Latte’ is French for ‘you paid too much for that coffee’”
"Latte' is French/Italian/Latin for 'you paid too much for that/your coffee'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts, posters and…
“‘Lazy’ is such an ugly word. I prefer the term ‘selective participation’”
"'Lazy' is such an ugly word. I prefer the term 'selective participation'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer…
“‘Let’s eat, grandma’ or ‘let’s eat grandma’—punctuation saves lives!”
"'Let's eat, grandma' or 'let's eat grandma' -- punctuation saves lives!" (or "commas save lives") has been printed on many images.…
“‘Media’ is the plural of ‘mediocre’”
New York City newspaper columnist Jimmy Breslin (1930-2017) has often remarked that "'media' is the plural of 'mediocre'" (first cited by Breslin in print in 1978 or…