“When doesn’t a telephone work underwater?”/“When it’s wringing wet.”
Cell phones often don't work when they get wet. A telephone riddle is: Q: When doesn't a telephone work underwater?A: When it's wringing wet. The…
Food/Drink
“When Dracula shops online, he keeps clicking ‘Your Account’”
"Your account" shouldn't be confused with "You're a Count," but there are several Count Dracula puns. "RT @GaryDelaney: I bet Dracula does all his shopping…
“When E. F. Hutton talks, people listen” (E. F. Hutton)
The investment firm of E. F. Hutton is now part of the Citigroup family. E. F. Hutton is still remembered for its catchy advertising slogan: "When E. F. Hutton talks, people listen." The…
“When elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers”
"When (two) elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers" is an East African proverb, cited in English since at least the 1910s. In the 1960s, Kenyan leader Jomo Kenyatta (1894-1978) and…
“When emotions are too strong for words, sing. When emotions are too strong for song, dance”
There's an adage in the musical theater about when it's time for a song and when it's time for a dance. Authorship of the saying is unknown. "When you don't have the words…
“When enough people understand reality, tyrants can literally be ignored out of existence”
"When enough people understand reality, tyrants can literally be ignored out of existence. They can't ever be voted out of existence" is a saying that has been printed on several…
“When even shoeshine boys are giving you stock tips, it’s time to sell” (Joseph P. Kennedy?)
An old Wall Street saying has it that when everybody's getting into the market and even the shoeshine boy is giving stock tips (or the barber/hairdresser or the taxi driver or the waiter or…
“When ever I have a problem, I just sing. Then I know my voice is a lot worse then my problem”
Many people turn to music and sing to relieve stress. However, many of these people cannot sing. "When ever I have a Problem, I just sing. Then I know my voice is a lot worse then my…
“When every other land rejects us, this is the soil that freely takes us” (“Texas” folk etymology)
"When every other land rejects us, this is the soil that freely takes us" is a rhyme concocted by the Cincinnati Republican in 1839, humorously asserting that "Texas" derives…
“When everybody gets to one side of the boat, it usually tips over”
"When everybody gets to one side of the boat, it usually tips over" is an old Wall Street saying of unknown authorship. The saying describes market panics or manias when everyone starts…
“When everything is a priority, nothing is a priority”
"When everything is a priority, nothing is a priority" is a saying used by both business and government. When everything is "top priority" and must be done "right…
“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that an airplane takes off against wind”
"The Country Parson" comic strip, by Frank A. Clark, from September 6, 1955, said: "When everything seems to be goin' against you, remember that the airplane takes off against…
“When exposing a crime is treated as committing a crime, you are being ruled by criminals”
"When exposing a crime is treated as committing a crime, you are being ruled by criminals" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "When exposing a…
“When God gave out brains, I thought He said trains, and I missed mine”
"When God passed out brains, I thought He said trains -- and I missed mine..." is one of several lines explaining how someone because such a mess. The lines were printed in many 1942…
“When God gave out chins, I thought He said gins, so I said I’ll have a double”
"When God passed out brains, I thought He said trains -- and I missed mine..." is one of several lines explaining how someone because such a mess. The lines were printed in many 1942…
“When God gave out ears, I thought He said beers, so I took two big ones”
"When God passed out brains, I thought He said trains -- and I missed mine..." is one of several lines explaining how someone because such a mess. The lines were printed in many 1942…
“When God gave out legs, I thought He said kegs, so I took two short fat ones”
"When God passed out brains, I thought He said trains -- and I missed mine..." is one of several lines explaining how someone because such a mess. The lines were printed in many 1942…
“When Greek meets Greek, they open a restaurant”
"When Greek meets Greek, then comes the tug of war" refers to the wars of classical Greece; the saying dates to at least 1677. The Americanized version has had different endings.…
“When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns”
"When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns" is a popular anti-gun control message. Under gun control, honest people who follow laws won't have guns, but criminals who…
“When Harry Potter lived under the stairs it was considered child abuse. But in New York it’s considered a $3800 studio apartment”
"When Harry Potter lived under the stairs it was considered child abuse. But in New York it's considered a $3800 studio apartment" -- also said about other places, and with other…