“What’s red and invisible?”/“No tomatoes.”
A philosophical riddle is: Q: What's red and invisible?A: No tomatoes. The joke has been cited in print since at least the late 1980s. Google BooksNew SocietyVolumes 83-841988Pg. 60:I was told…
Food/Drink
“What’s red, made of strawberries, and sucks your blood?”/“A jampire.”
The portmanteau word "jampire" ("jam" + "vampire") has had several uses, and has appeared in jokes. "Jampire" has been used with the music sense of…
“What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time?”/“A sad candy cane.”
The American flag is red, white and blue. Candy canes are usually white, with red stripes. A riddle was printed in Boys' Life magazine in March 1980: Teacher: What's red, white, and blue?…
“What’s red, white, black and blue?”/“Uncle Sam falling down the stairs.”
An Uncle Sam riddle is: Q: What's red, white, black and blue? A: Uncle Sam falling down the stairs. "Red, white and blue" are the colors of the American flag and also the traditional…
“What’s Santa Claus’s favorite drink?”/“White Claws.”
White Claw Hard Seltzer has nothing to do with Santa Claus, but there are jokes. "Does Santa drink White Claus?" was posted on Twitter by Nath on October 18, 2018. "Does Santa drink…
“What’s Santa’s favorite alcoholic drink?”/“White Claus.”
White Claw Hard Seltzer has nothing to do with Santa Claus, but there are jokes. "Does Santa drink White Claus?" was posted on Twitter by Nath on October 18, 2018. "Does Santa drink…
“What’s Santa’s favorite sandwich?”/“Peanut butter and jolly.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: What's Santa's favorite sandwich?A: Peanut butter and jolly. The "jelly"/"jolly" pun was printed in many newspapers in December 1988. 3…
“What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?”/“Crisp Pringles.”
"Kris Kringle" can sound like "crisp Pringles" (Pringles is an American brand of stackable potato-based crisps), and of course, there are jokes. "Last night I was visited…
“What’s shakin’ bacon?”
"What's shakin' bacon?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The rhyming expression means "What's happening" or "What's going on?" or…
“What’s something a drug dealer would never ask?”/“‘Is Pepsi okay?’”
Many diners ask for "coke" when they want a soda. If the establishment has Pepsi cola instead of Coca-Cola, a server usually asks, "Is Pepsi okay (as a substitute drink)?" Pepsi…
“What’s Stalin’s favorite coffee?”/“Represso.”
"Represso" (repression + espresso) is a jocular coffee term. "Is #represso the opposite of #espresso?" was posted on Twitter by Molly C Loar on November 19, 2013. "I made a…
“What’s the best day to eat bacon?”/“Fry-day.”
A bacon riddle is: Q: What's the best day to eat bacon (and eggs)?A: Fry-day. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. “What day does an Easter egg hate the…
“What’s the best kind of pan to make sushi in?”/“Japan.”
A sushi riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 30, 2017: Q: What's the best kind of pan to make sushi in?A: Japan. The riddle -- slightly reworded -- was posted again on Reddit --…
“What’s the best machine to impress women at the gym?”/“The ATM.”
A joke about the best machine at the gym is: Q: What's the best machine to impress women at the gym?A: The ATM. The joke might have originated with late night television comedian Jay Leno.…
“What’s the best month to make coffee?”/“Fe-brew-ary.”
Some people put the "brew" in "February" and spell it "febrewary." "October is the great time for brewing ale, we believe, but we should have thought…
“What’s the best Olympic sport?”/“Diving, hands down.”
"Hands down" means "without question." In diving, the divers keep their hands down. "What's the best Olympic sport? Diving, hands down" was posted on Reddit --…
“What’s the best pancake topping?”/“More pancakes.”
A pancake riddle is: Q: What's the best pancake topping?A: More pancakes! "Best topping is MORE pancakes" was posted on Twitter on March 8, 2011. "The best topping for pancakes…
“What’s the best part about dating a Mets fan?”/“You know she’s not looking for a ring.”
Championship athletes often get rings. A joke about the fans of non-winning teams (the Mets, in this example) is: Q: What's the best part of dating a Mets fan?A: You know she's not…
“What’s the best place to buy Cheerios and donuts?”/“Hole Foods.”
A pun on the name Whole Foods is: Q: What's the best place to buy Cheerios and donuts? A: Hole Foods. This form of the joke was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on April 24, 2017. "Shopping…
“What’s the best present for a musician?”/“A broken drum. You can’t beat it.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterClarion Associates@ClarionInsWhat is the best Christmas present a musician could ever receive? "A broken drum. You can't beat it!"…