“My wife tried to beat me at Scrabble, but I wooden letter”
The word game of Scrabble has tiles of single letters. The pun "wooden letter" ("wouldn't let her") is sometimes made. "My mom thought she could beat me at Scrabble.…
Food/Drink
“My wife volunteers as a school crossing guard. I tell everyone she’s into human trafficking”
A school crossing guard protects children from traffic. The crossing guard is not involved in "human trafficking," but there are jokes. "Just found out what 'human…
“My wife wanted me to take her somewhere expensive. I took her to the gas station”
There are several jokes about high gas prices. "My wife wanted me to take her somewhere expensive last night. I took her to the gas station" is a joke that has been printed on many…
“My wife won’t let me get a tattoo of a grizzly. She is infringing on my right to bear arms”
The Second Amendment "right to bear arms" has nothing to do with "bears" or "bare arms," but there are several tattoo jokes. "Going to the tattoo shop to forfeit…
“My wife: You need to do more chores around the house. Me: Can we change the subject?” (joke)
A joke about a wife getting a husband to do chores was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on December 1, 2020, and again on Reddit -- Jokes on January 19, 2021: My wife: You need to do more chores around…
“My wife’s a peach—she has a heart of stone”
To say that a person is a "peach" means that this person is admirable or pleasing. "Joe: My math teacher is a peach! Sam: You mean she is pretty? Joe: No, she has a heart of…
“My wife’s cooking has really improved. That was the best slice of soup I’ve ever had!”
Soup usually doesn't come in slices -- except maybe in a joke. This was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 17, 2018: "I hate to admit it, but my wife's cooking has seriously…
“My wife’s cooking is incredible. With a silent ‘cr’”
"My wife's cooking is incredible. With a silent 'cr'" is a funny way to say that the cooking is "inedible." The saying was posted on Twitter on January 18, 2016…
“My wife’s credit card was stolen…” (joke)
"My wife's credit card was stolen, but I'm not going to report it," a husband says in this old joke. "Whoever stole it spends less than she does." The joke was cited…
“My word is my bond” (“Word is bond”); Dictum Meum Pactum
"My word is my bond" (Dictum Meum Pactum in Latin) became the motto of the London Stock Exchange in 1923 and the Security Traders Association in 1934. "My word is my bond" is an…
“My work here is dumb” (joke)
"My work here is done" shouldn't be confused with "my work here is dumb," but there are jokes. This was posted on X/Twitter by "@natesmith.dev on bsky" on…
“My workout goal is to get my chest to stick out further than my stomach”
"My fitness goal is just making sure my boobs stick out further than my stomach" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My workout goal is to get my chest to…
“My yoga instructor is from Jamaica. She teaches Pilates of the Caribbean”
The Pirates of the Caribbean film series has nothing to do with Pilates, but there are jokes. "If I was a yoga instructor, I would move to Key West and open a studio for vacationing tourists…
“My yoga pants have never been to yoga”
Yoga pants have become so popular, they are worn to many places -- even by people who have never done yoga. "My yoga pants have never been to yoga" is a popular saying that has been…
“Myself and money both leave the house at the same time but sometimes I’m the only one that comes back home”
"I cannot be friends with money anymore. We both leaving the house same time but is only me coming back home" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I cannot be…
“N.Y.C.” (1977)
The musical Annie (1977) was based on a comic strip about a little orphan girl. It was a great Broadway success and was later made into a big-budget (but unsuccessful) film. The most-remembered…
“Nachos are just broken tacos”
Nachos have been compared to tacos. "Nachos are broken tacos and ground meat" was posted on Twitter by Mike5ive on August 4, 2009. "Don pablos nachos are whole taco shells that are…
“Nachos are just chip salad”
Many people have referred tp nachos as (tortilla) chip salad. "At my house..we call this 'Chip Salad.' Whatever works, right..? #nachos" was posted on Twitter by Ali Meyer on…
“Nachos are just flat tacos”
Several Mexican foods have been described as "flat tacos." Tostadas are most frequently described as flat tacos, but the description has also been applied to chalupas, Mexican pizza,…
“Nachos are just open-face tacos”
Nachos are sometimes called open-face(d) tacos. "Tostadas are a better fit for 'open faced taco' honors. Nachos are 'exploded tacos'" was posted on Twitter by Brad…