"If you watch TV, you are in the middle of a deadly pandemic. If you don't, it's Wednesday" was posted on Twitter by Arthur Joannard on July 14, 2012. That is, the television is…
"If you water water, it grows...." was posted on Twitter by conner on July 15, 2018. "If you water water, it grows" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on March 27, 2019.…
"If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Who's the idiot who called it cowboy clothes instead of…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people being locked down in their homes. Some people generously offered quarantine life pro tips. "If you wear your jeans 5 days in a row,…
"If you were a fruit, you'd be a fineapple" (fine + pineapple) is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "If I were a fruit, Id be a fineapple" was posted on…
"If you were a vegetable, you'd be a rudeabaga" (rude + rutabaga) is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "If you were a plant you'd be a…
"If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber" (cute + cucumber) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "'If you were a vegetable, you'd be a…
Some people lack self-confidence. "If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for like 8 years, you can believe in yourself for like 5 minutes/seconds" is an inspirational saying that has…
"Erasist" (or "eracist"), meaning someone who erases, sounds like "racist." A joke was told by Arin Hanson of Game Grumps on a YouTube video on March 3, 2014: "If…
The FedEx Corporation is an American multinational courier delivery services company. It is not owned by the U.S. federal government, but a joke was posted on Twitter on April 30, 2014: "Lame…
The following joke is frequently told about Nancy Astor (1879-1964) and Winston Churchill (1874-1965). Astor supposedly said: "if I were your wife, I'd put poison in your coffee!"…
"If you were poor under Capitalism, you would be dead under Communism" (shown on an image) was posted on X/Twitter by The Rabbit Hole on April 14, 2024, and this received over 15,000…
A joke has someone getting "a year's supply of calendars" -- one calendar. The joke was used on the American television sitcom Full House, the episode "The Big Three-O"…
"As the morning goes, so goes the station" was the slogan of WNBC (New York, NY) station manager Perry Bascom in 1972. Bascom -- a former president of Radio Advertising Representatives --…
Entry in progress -- B.P. “If you lose, be patient. If you win, stay humble” is a similar saying. FacebookBASS ODYSSEYSeptember 4, 2013 · "If you win be humble. If you lose be gracious.…
English writer Henry Sambrooke Leigh (1837-1883) wrote in "On Corpulence" (1869): If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner,And take to light claret instead of pale ale;Look down…
A "graveyard shift" is a night shift, such as one between midnight and 6 a.m. It does not necessarily involve a work shift at a cemetery, but there are jokes. "And for two summers, I…
A popular saying about speaking is: "If you would be pungent, be brief—for it is with words as with sunbeams, the more they are condensed the deeper they burn." The line was published…
"JavaScript" is not a screenplay about coffee, but there are many puns. "Javascript (which I thought was a screenplay about coffee)" was posted on the newsgroup Google Groups:…
"JavaScript" is not a screenplay about coffee, but there are many puns. "Javascript (which I thought was a screenplay about coffee)" was posted on the newsgroup Google Groups:…