Marmite is something that many people don’t use a lot of. "But I'm in a great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite......... one…
The sum of $1,000 is a "grand." There is a "dad joke" -- or rather a "grand dad joke" -- about this. "I was paid $1000 for this joke. It was a grand dad…
"I entered a kleptomania competition. I got gold, silver and bronze" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on May 28, 2019, and again on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 21, 2019. "I once…
A joke about a fitness app was posted on Twitter by Mikey on October 12, 2015: "Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house." The one-line…
"Some people age like fine wine. Me? I aged like milk. I got sour and chunky" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Women age like a fine wine, men age like…
Many introductory college courses end in "101." But what if the course is Binary 101? (101 is 5 in binary.) "I failed Binary 101.I said it was 6. http://bit.ly/1a78s7q via…
Drug tests are often given at work, but sometimes a different kind of drug test is given at school. "I failed my drug test again. Sometimes I wonder if I'll EVER get my pharmacy…
Drug tests are often given at work, but sometimes a different kind of drug test is given at school. "I failed my drug test again. Sometimes I wonder if I'll EVER get my pharmacy…
"@brianshelf - I failed my Italics exam with straight As. #fb" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter on August 18, 2011. "Failed my italic writing exam with…
"Just heard they're changing my mobile phone number to Roman numerals!? I'm LIVID" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Morris Dutchley the Comic Book on September 28, 2011.…
Bronx-born comedian, author and film director Woody Allen joked in 1964: "I failed to make the chess team because of my height." A young Woody Allen was short, but he was athletic and…
"I think about winning the lottery way too much for someone that don't buy lottery tickets" and "I fantasize about winning the lottery way too much for someone who never buys…
"From Chris Purdy's Facebook Status: I farted in the lift at work this morning.... it was wrong on so many levels" was posted on Twitter on October 7, 2009. "I farted in an…
"I fear I'm the girl sipping the fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is based on the song…
Many diners ask for "coke" when they want a soda. If the establishment has Pepsi cola instead of Coca-Cola, a server usually asks, "Is Pepsi okay (as a substitute drink)?" Pepsi…
Brooklyn-born actress, singer, playwright, screenwriter, comedian, and sex symbol Mae West (1893-1980) appeared on ventriloquist Edgar Bergen's radio show The Chase and Sanborn Hour on…
Brooklyn-born actress, singer, playwright, screenwriter, comedian, and sex symbol Mae West (1893-1980) appeared on ventriloquist Edgar Bergen's radio show The Chase and Sanborn Hour on…
A jocular saying about business culture was posted on Twitter by Alex Baze on March 5, 2014: "I feel like every office has 3 people who do all the work and 15 people who just walk around with…
"I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe" -- that is, confused or disoriented -- is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited…
"I feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together" is a one-line saying about breakfast that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on May…