“I did really well on my Roman history test. I got a C”
A "C" is a letter grade. "C" is a Roman numeral for 100. "Thank you sweet baby jesus i got a C on my roman history test :D" was posted on Twitter by Amanda Kramer on…
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health
“I didn’t ask you to dance. I said you look fat in those pants”
A classic failed pickup line -- and snarky response -- is: Man: Do you want to dance? Woman: No! Man: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants. The joke has been cited in print…
“I didn’t believe there was a sauce made from oil and egg yolks, but then I saw it with mayonnaise!”
"Mayonnaise" can sound a bit like "my own eyes." "'I saw it with mayonnaise' '..What?' 'With my own eyes' #fakeaccentproblems" was posted…
“I didn’t choose the mug life. The mug life chose me”
"I didn't choose the mug life. The mug life chose me" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The pun is on the term "thug life." "I…
“I didn’t claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables”
"I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables" was the newsgroup signature of Dwight Tovey in 1991; it is not known if he coined the phrase, which quickly…
“I didn’t come this far to only come this far”
"I didn't come this far to only come this far" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "From a FB friend: 'I didn't come this far, to only come…
“I didn’t get there by wishing for it or hoping for it, but by working for it” (Estée Lauder)
"I never dreamed about success. I worked for it" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. American businessperson Estée Lauder (1908-2004) -- born Josephine Esther…
“I didn’t misgender you, you misgendered you, and I refused to play along”
"I didn't misgender you, you misgendered you, and I refused to play along" is a transgender saying that has been printed on many images. "I didn’t misgender you! You…
“I didn’t realize I was supposed to know how to do everything by my second rodeo”
“This ain’t my first rodeo” (or "This is not my first rodeo") is a popular saying. It is an expression that means "I wasn't born yesterday" (I'm not naive in…
“I didn’t realize that my parents teaching me to tell the truth when I was a child…”
Entry in progress -- BP FacebookColleen WatersOctober 15, 2021 at 4:57 AM · Friday , been a good girl all week not been fb banned (yet) but most likely still on the watch list 👀😇(The…
“I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.”
"I didn't say it was your fault -- I said I was going to blame you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters and T-shirts. The saying is what a…
“I didn’t think my son stole from his trig teacher until I saw his room. All the sines were there”
"I never wanted to believe that my dad stole from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there” is a now-classic pun. There are math versions ("all the sines…
“I didn’t think there was a class system in the U.S.” (joke)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksThe NationVolume 2361983Pg. 388:An Oxford professor meets a former Ph.D. student and courteously inquires what he's working on these days. “l'm…
“I didn’t think wearing orthopaedic shoes would help my posture, but now I stand corrected”
"I didn't think wearing orthopaedic shoes would help my posture," an old joke goes, "but now I stand corrected." The joke has been told several times by television…
“I didn’t understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me”
A math joke was posted on the website Pun of the Day on March 18, 2012: "I didn't understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me." Pun of the Day (March 19, 2012)I…
“I didn’t get the job hypnotising chickens. I failed the hen trance exam”
Many jobs have entrance exams. This joke was posted by many people on X/Twitter and Facebook on January 30, 2022: "I didn’t get the job hypnotising chickens. I failed the hen trance…
“I didn’t go to school just to eat my lunch”
Schools usually have a lunch break; some students qualify for free school lunches. "I didn't go to school (just) to eat lunch" is a popular saying, meaning that the speaker went to…
“I didn’t know how much cookies shaped like integers cost, but I crunched the numbers”
The saying "crunch the numbers" takes on a different meaning when cookies are shaped like numbers. "My favorite activity is making number shaped cookies and crackers because i really…
“I didn’t like working at the steel plant. It smelt”
"Smelling" and "smelting" shouldn't be confused, but there are jokes. This pun was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on January 26, 2024: "I didn’t like working at the…
“I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work, because there’s no way I can run that far”
A 301(k) retirement savings contribution plan shouldn't be confused with a 10K (kilometers) run, but there's a joke: "I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's…