“I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk, but I never got the chants”
"Chants" sounds like "chance." "I've always wanted to be a Gregorian monk but I never really had the chants!" was posted on Twitter on August 14, 2017. "I…
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health
“I always wanted to try juggling. I just never had the balls to”
"I always wanted to try juggling, but I never had the balls" is a jocular one-liner about juggling. "I've always wanted to try juggling..I've just never had the balls to do…
“I am 100% in support of mandatory vacations for everyone and booster vacations every 4 months”
"I know this is controversial. But I am 100% in support of mandatory vacations for everyone and booster vacations every 4 months" is a joke that has been printed on many images.…
“I am 1776% sure no one is taking my guns”
"I am 1776% sure no one will be taking my guns" (or "I am 1776% sure no one is taking my guns") is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "1776" is the…
“I am 1776% sure no one will be taking my guns”
"I am 1776% sure no one will be taking my guns" (or "I am 1776% sure no one is taking my guns") is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "1776" is the…
“I am 1776% sure that no one is taking my gun”
"I am 1776% sure no one will be taking my guns" (or "I am 1776% sure no one is taking my guns") is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "1776" is the…
“I am a bean; I am very lean” (food riddle)
A popular food riddle about a bean is: I am a bean; I am very lean. I am not fat; I am sure of that. Like all beans, I am small and round; but unlike others, I dont grow in the ground. What kind of…
“I am a firm believer in the people; if given the truth, they can meet any national crisis”
The following quotation, attributed to Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865), has appeared on many websites: “I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any…
“I am a free American. I have all the licenses and permits to prove it”
"'I am a free citizen and I have all the licenses and permits to prove it.' http://bit.ly/uBYlt via @addthis" was posted on Twitter by Stephen on June 12, 2009. The point of…
“I am a free citizen and I have all the licenses and permits to prove it”
"'I am a free citizen and I have all the licenses and permits to prove it.' http://bit.ly/uBYlt via @addthis" was posted on Twitter by Stephen on June 12, 2009. The point of…
“I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: LuckI am a great believer in luck. The harder I work, the more of it I seem to have. . Coleman Cox, in Listen to this (1922). Unsourced variant: The harder I…
“I am a professional counterfeiter. I even have the certificates to prove it”
"I know a professional counterfeiter. He's got the certificate to prove it..." is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Ben Greenwood 🔴⚪⚫ on April 2, 2009. "RT:…
“I am a slow walker, but I never walk back”
U.S. President Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) issued the Emancipation Proclamation on January 1, 1863. The following anecdote appeared in a January 1864 newspaper: "Mr. Lincoln, when asked…
“I am a survivalist. I drank my morning coffee out of a soup bowl because there were no clean cups”
Some people are forced to drink coffee under less than ideal circumstances. This was posted on Twitter by Mike Primavera on December 6, 2014: "I am a survivalist. I can adapt to any situation.…
“I am broken when my name is spoken. What am I?”/“McDonald’s ice cream machine.”
The ice cream machine at McDonald's (a popular fast food restaurant chain) seems to break down often. "The ice cream machine at EVERY McDonald's is ALWAYS broken" was posted on…
“I am currently experiencing life at a rate of several WTFs per hour”
"I am currently experiencing life at a rate of several WTFS per hour" (WTF = What The Fuck) is a saying that has been printed on many images. There are several minor variations. "is…
“I am exempt from continual government bullshit”
"I am exempt from government bullshit" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying became popular during the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic, when many people were forced…
“I am exempt from government bullshit”
"I am exempt from government bullshit" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying became popular during the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic, when many people were forced…
“I am first on earth, second in heaven. I appear twice in a week, once in a year. What am I?”
A riddle was printed in the Camden (NJ) Post-Telegram (and other newspapers) on May 2, 1913: Kid -- What is it that occurs once in a minute, twice in a week, and yet only once in a year?Gent --…
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally”
"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally" (or "I don't discriminate. I hate everyone equally") is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…