“How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?” (lawyer joke)
One popular lawyer joke is: Q: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? A: Depends on how thin you slice them. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1990. Google Groups:…
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health
“How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (lawyer joke)
The "lightbulb joke" has a version that involves lawyers: Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It depends on how many you can afford. This joke has been cited in…
“How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?”/“Never enough.”
A lawyer joke is: Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?A: Never enough. The lawyer joke has been cited in print since at least 1989. Google Groups: rec.humorLife 5.HHenry Cate…
“How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)
A classic libertarian joke is: Q: How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. The free market will do it. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1981 and is of…
“How many lives were saved by taping arrows to the floors of supermarket aisles?”
At the start of the COVID-19(coronavirus) pandemic, many supermarkets taped arrows on the floor to direct the supermarket cart traffic and promote social distancing. "Did they release the…
“How many Lowe’s would Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s”
"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" is a famous tongue twister. Rob Lowe is an American actor, and Lowe's is an American retail company…
“How many men does it take to open a beer bottle?” (Joke)
A joke about opening a beer bottle has been printed on several images: Q: How many men does it take to open a beer bottle?A: None. It should be open when she brings it to you. The joke -- usually…
“How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)
Microsoft Corporation's Windows operating system is so dominant in the computer industry that there is a popular joke: Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:…
“How many months have 28 days?” (riddle)
There is a popular riddle about the days in the month: Q: Some months have 31 days, some months have 30 days. How many months have 28 days?A. All twelve of them. February, of course, is the only…
“How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (joke)
A "lightbulb joke" involving mystery writers is: Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a…
“How many NCAA players does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)
A joke about college athletes is: Q: How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?A: One. But he gets nine credits, $3,000, and a new car for it. The joke was posted on the…
“How many NCAA players does it take to change a lightbulb?” (joke)
A joke about college athletes is: Q: How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?A: One. But he gets nine credits, $3,000, and a new car for it. The joke was posted on the…
“How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)
The "light bulb joke" has a New York City version: Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb?A: None of your business!A: Go fuck yourself! New York City versions of the…
“How many Nintendo fans does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“They’re playing the switch.”
A Nintendo Switch riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 5, 2020: Q: How many Nintendo fans does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Who knows? They’re all too busy playing with the switch.…
“How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 or 2? 1? or 2?”
The traditional lightbulb joke has a popular optometrist version that has been printed on many images. The answer -- 1 or 2? -- is a joke on an optometrist changing lenses and asking this question…
“How many pedants does it take to change a lightbulb?” (riddle)
A lightbulb joke was posted on rec.humor on September 9, 1992: Q: How many pedants does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Pedants don't c-h-a-n-g-e lightbulbs, they r-e-p-l-a-c-e them. Another…
“How many people died on the Titanic?”/“A boatload.”
The RMS Titanic hit an iceberg on April 15, 1912 and sunk on her maiden voyage from Southampton to New York City. One Titanic joke is: Q: How many people died on the Titanic?A: A boatload. The joke…
“How many people work here?” / “Oh, about half.” (joke)
The question "How many people work here?" (meaning "how many employees are there") and the jocular answer "About half" (meaning "half of the employees work and…
“How many people work in the Pentagon?” (joke)
The Pentagon is the headquarters of the United States Department of Defense and is located in Arlington County, Virginia. About 30,000 people work in the Pentagon. An old joke is told about a…
“How many personal-injury lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?” (lawyer joke)
Personal injury lawyers sometimes have an unfavorable "ambulance chaser" reputation. A combination lawyer joke and lightbulb joke is: Q: How many personal-injury lawyers does it take to…