“Every year for Christmas I ask Satan to cure me of my dyslexia”
"Santa" has the same letters as "Satan," and, of course, there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by patrickswayze’spatrickgravy on December 3, 2015: "Every year for…
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health
“Every year on NYE I think ‘no way they can turn this number into glasses’ & every year I am wrong”
New Year's glasses are novelty eyeglasses in the numerical shape of the coming year. They are usually worn just at New Year's Eve parties. The glasses most properly fit for the years…
“Every year Santa delivers presents to kids based on what their parents’ income is”
"Every year Santa delivers presents to kids based on what their parents income is" is a Christmas joke that was posted on Twitter by 51 Shades of Paul on December 10, 2020. The joke was…
“Every year you make a resolution to change yourself. This year, make a resolution to be yourself”
"Every year you make a resolution to change yourself. This year, make a resolution to be yourself" is a new year's saying that has been printed on many images. "Every year…
“Every year, hundreds of kids are shipped off to mime school, never to be heard from again”
"Every year, hundreds of kids are shipped off to mime school, never to be heard from again" is a jocular saying about noisy students. "Hundreds of kids are shipped off to Mime…
“Everybody bites on the Big Apple” lyric in the Cat Stevens song “New York Times” (1978)
"New York Times" is a song on the album Back to Earth (1978) by Cat Stevens. He would convert to Islam and take a long break from music, and his next album (credited to "Yusuf/Cat…
“Everybody bites on the Big Apple” lyric in the Cat Stevens song “New York Times” (1978)
"New York Times" is a song on the album Back to Earth (1978) by Cat Stevens. He would convert to Islam and take a long break from music, and his next album (credited to "Yusuf/Cat…
“Everybody has two businesses—his own business and show business”
"Everybody/Everyone has two businesses -- his own and show business" is one of the oldest entertainment sayings. "Thoughtless souls who mouth the old wheeze that everyone has two…
“Everybody hates math until that paycheck looks a little funny”
"Everybody hates math until that paycheck looks a little funny" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, when the paycheck isn't adding up (looking a little short…
“Everybody hates math until that paycheck looks funny now y’all know Calculus”
"Everybody hates math until that paycheck looks a little funny" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, when the paycheck isn't adding up (looking a little short…
“Everybody hates white people, but everybody wants to live in their neighborhood”
"'Everybody hates white people, but everybody wants to live in their neighborhood.'-Joe (latino)" was posted on Facebook by Lewis Newman on February 7, 2021. "Let me get…
“Everybody invited and nobody slighted!”
"Everybody invited and nobody slighted!" is the old-time invitation to a country dance. The phrase's origin is unknown, but it's been in use since at least the 1920s. 14 July…
“Everybody makes mistakes—that’s why they put erasers on pencils”
"Everybody makes mistakes -- that's why they put erasers on pencils" (or "that's why pencils have erasers") is a saying that dates to at least 1915. The saying is used…
“Everybody ought to have a Lower East Side in their life”
American composer and lyricist Irving Berlin (1888-1989) grew up in extreme poverty in Manhattan's Lower East Side. However, he enjoyed many friendships and the cultural richness that the…
“Everybody says stealing is wrong. Personally, I don’t buy it”
"Everybody says stealing is wrong. Personally, I don't buy it" is a joke about stealing. The joke was posted on Twitter on June 14, 2011. TwitterPaul. Just Paul.…
“Everybody wants to be a diamond, but very few are willing to get cut”
"Everybody wants to be a diamond, but very few are willing to get cut" is a motivational saying that has been printed on posters. The saying was popularized by American author Eric…
“Everybody wants to be a patriot until it’s time to do patriot shit”
"Everyone wants to be a patriot until it's time to do patriot shit/stuff/things" (or "Everyone say they're a patriot until it's time to do patriot…
“Everybody wants to change the world, but nobody wants to change the toilet paper roll”
"Everybody/Everyone wants to change the world, but nobody wants to change the toilet paper roll" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Nobody wants to change the…
“Everybody wants to eat at the government’s table, but nobody wants to do the dishes”
"Everybody wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes" is a jocular saying that has been cited in print since at least 1972 (when it was not credited…
“Everybody wants to get into the act”
"Everybody wants to get into the act" (or "Everybody wants ta get inta da act") was a catchphrase of Manhattan-born comedian and entertainer Jimmy Durante (1893-1980). The song…