“Do you have Coronavirus? Because I can’t stop looking ah-choo” (pickup line)
"Ah-choo!" or "Achoo!" or "Atchoo!" (a sneeze) sounds like "at you." A jocular pickup line was used during the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic. “Do you have…
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health
“Do you have reservations?”/“Yes, but I’ll eat here anyway.”
Some people have reservations for a restaurant, while others have reservations about a restaurant. A popular joke has been cited in print since at least 1975: RESTAURANT HOST OR HOSTESS: Do you…
“Do you have reservations?”/“Yes, but I’ll stay here anyway.”
Some people have reservations for a restaurant, while others have reservations about a restaurant. A popular joke has been cited in print since at least 1975: RESTAURANT HOST OR HOSTESS: Do you…
“Do you know that feeling when you have a lot of work to do and you don’t know where to start? That’s why I’m on Facebook”
Many people like to go on social media to avoid work. "You know that feeling when you have a lot of work to do and you don't know where to start...? That's why I'm on…
“Do you know that feelng when you have a lot of work to do and you don’t know where to start? That’s why I’m on tumblr”
Many people like to go on social media to avoid work. "You know that feeling when you have a lot of work to do and you don't know where to start...? That's why I'm on…
“Do you know that feelng when you have a lot of work to do and you don’t know where to start? That’s why I’m on Twitter”
Many people like to go on social media to avoid work. "You know that feeling when you have a lot of work to do and you don't know where to start...? That's why I'm on…
“Do you know the way to Chardonnay?”
"Do You Know the Way to San Jose" is a 1968 song written for singer Dionne Warwick by Burt Bacharach (music) and Hal David (lyrics). "Do you know the way to Chardonnay?" has…
“Do you know the way to the Empire State Building, or should I just go fuck myself?”
New Yorkers sometimes have a (probably unfair) reputation of being rude to tourists. If a tourist asks "Do you have the time?" or "Do you know the way to the Empire State…
“Do you know what always catches my eye? Short people with umbrellas”
"Umbrellas are a win for short people in the battle against the tall people. "argh my eye!" #fb" was posted on Twitter by Tom Gordon on August 4, 2009. "You know what…
“Do you know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u”
"Do you know what's on the menu? Me-n-u" -- that is, "me and you" -- is a pickup line that has been printed on many images. "Me-N-U Luncheon" was printed in a…
“Do you know where Central Park is?...OK, I’ll mug you here”
New York City in the 1960s and 1970s was crime-ridden; there were constant stories about tourists being mugged in and around Central Park. A joke from 1971 has a shady person approaching a tourist…
“Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market”
The stock market doesn't sell chicken stock, but there's a joke: "Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market." "To me, stock market means…
“Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market”
The stock market doesn't sell chicken stock, but there's a joke: "Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market." "To me, stock market means…
“Do you know why birds sing in the morning? Because they don’t have to go to work!”
"Do you know why birds sing in the morning(s)? Because they don't have to go to work!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Birds sing in the morning…
“Do you know why birds sing in the mornings? Because they don’t have to go to work!”
"Do you know why birds sing in the morning(s)? Because they don't have to go to work!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Birds sing in the morning…
“Do you know why it’s called hummus?”/“Because it doesn’t know the words.”
"Hummus" can sound like the words "hum us," so there are jokes. "Dad: Hey April do you like hummus? Me: Yes I do. Dad: That's because you don't know the…
“Do you know why people are buying up all the toilet paper? Because people are losing their shit”
The 2019-20 coronavirus outbreak had caused panic purchasing of toilet paper. "If peeps are bulk buying toilet paper, then they really are losing their shit" was posted on Twitter by…
“Do you like pinochle otters?” (The Piña Colada Song mondegreen)
"Do/If you like pinochle otters" is a mondegreen (misheard lyric) of "If you like piña coladas" in "The Piña Colada Song" (1979). Pinochle otters have been shown on…
“Do you need a current license to drive an electric car?”
"Do you need a current driver's license to drive an electric car?" is a pun that was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on May 20, 2020. "Current" is a pun on…
“Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?”
"If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?" is a jocular one-liner that American stand-up comedian Steven Wright used in his act since at least 1986. "Do you need a silencer if…