“Did you hear about the bread maker who was into BDSM? He was gluten for punishment”
"Gluten" shouldn't be confused with "glutton," but there are jokes. One joke on the phrase "glutton for punishment" is "gluten for punishment."…
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health
“Did you hear about the cannibal policeman who was arrested for grilling his suspects?”
Policemen give suspects a "grilling," but that's usually not literal. "Did you hear about the cannibal policeman who was arrested? He was caught grilling his suspects" was…
“Did you hear about the cannibal policeman who was arrested for grilling his suspects?”
Policemen give suspects a "grilling," but that's usually not literal. "Did you hear about the cannibal policeman who was arrested? He was caught grilling his suspects" was…
“Did you hear about the carpenter who drank on the job? He got hammered”
"I used to go out with a carpenter. He got hammered every night" is a drinking pun that was posted on Twitter by TrishB on November 15, 2010. "Did you hear about the carpenter who…
“Did you hear about the carpenter who drank too many screwdrivers? He got hammered”
"I used to go out with a carpenter. He got hammered every night" is a drinking pun that was posted on Twitter by TrishB on November 15, 2010. "Did you hear about the carpenter who…
“Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the Olympics? It fell at the final curdle”
"Curdle" doesn't sound like "hurdle," but there have been cheese puns. "Did you hear about the cheese that failed? It fell at the final curdle" was posted on…
“Did you hear about the coin shortage? Apparently, America is literally out of common cents”
The 2019-2020 coronavirus pandemic resulted in a coin shortage in the United States. "The recent coin shortage shows us that we're all 'Missing common cents?'" -- a pun on…
“Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil”
Mathematicians solve problems with a pencil and paper. A popular joke is: "Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil." The joke has been cited in…
“Did you hear about the dancer’s birthday? It was a tappy one!”
A joke about a dancer's birthday has been printed on an image: "Did you hear about the dancer's birthday? It was a tappy one!" The "tappy" birthday saying has been…
“Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail?” (joke)
A joke about English teachers is: "Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail? She got a full sentence." The pun was cited on Twitter on August 5, 2013. “I wanted to marry…
“Did you hear about the farmer who made gloves out of herbs? He had way too much thyme on his hands”
"Thyme" (an aromatic perennial evergreen herb) has had many "time" puns. "After a day of removing ground cover in the garden without gloves, I am left with too much thyme…
“Did you hear about the funeral home that closed? Apparently business was dead”
The expression "business is dead" is usually not taken literally, but there are some jokes. "I have a friend who just got a job as an attendant at a funeral home...he informed me…
“Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage”
"Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage" is a popular ghost pun. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. 25 October 2003, Evening Mail (Birmingham,…
“Did you hear about the guy who cooled himself to absolute zero? He’s 0K now”
A science joke about the Kelvin scale has been printed on several images: "Did you hear about the guy who cooled himself to absolute zero? He's 0K now." The joke was first posted on…
“Did you hear about the guy who evaporated? He’ll be mist!”
"Mist" sounds like "missed," and there are puns. "Did you hear about the guy who evaporated? He’ll be mist!" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 11, 2022.…
“Did you hear about the guy who got arrested for stealing hay? He made bale”
"Bail" shouldn't be confused with "bale," but there are jokes. "I got arrested yesterday for stealing hay from a farmer. I’ve been refused bale" was posted on…
“Did you hear about the guy who made a fortune investing in Apple? He was in cider trading”
"In cider trading" is a pun on "insider trading." "I was thrown out of the London Stock Exchange for standing in a bucket of Scrumpy, apparently there's rules against…
“Did you hear about the guy with an irrational fear of buffets? He couldn’t help himself”
An irrational fear of buffets is called "zumgphobia." "You hear about the guy with the irrational fear of buffets? He couldn't help himself" is a joke that was posted on…
“Did you hear about the haunted health food store? Everything is super-natural”
A Halloween riddle about health food was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor on October 15, 1998: Q: Why do ghosts eat only the finest quality health food?A: Because it's super-natural. A health…
“Did you hear about the houses that fell in love? It was a lawn distance relationship”
"Lawn distance relationship" is a pun on the term "long distance relationship." "People always said I should have dated the girl next door. I'm glad I didn't, I…