A joke is told about happiness: "The key to happiness is to find a woman who can cook, clean and is great in bed -- and it's important that these three women never meet." The joke --…
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused some food shortages. This joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 21, 2020: "The kids asked what was for dinner and I told them 'Scraps'.…
Cookie's is "The Kids' Department Store." Cookie's has been around since 1975 and has stores in several boroughs. Cookie's has a large business in school uniforms.…
"The/This kitchen was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it" and "My kitchen was clean last week. Sorry you missed it" are jocular sayings that have been printed on many images.…
"The ladder of success is never crowded at the top" means something similar to "there's always room at the top" -- for someone who is talented and who works hard, there is…
The word "success" sounds like "suck Cess." A bawdy joke has a person climb the "ladder to success," only to find a person at the top say, "I'm Cess."…
A popular joke is that parts of Texas are so flat and treeless that "you can watch your dog run away for three days." (The time varies; sometimes it's two days or even two weeks.)…
Do landscapers "leaf through" gardening magazines? "Returned home with a stack of back issues of old gardening magazines to leaf through for inspiration" was posted on Twitter…
"The large print giveth and the small print taketh away" (or, "The large print gives and the small print takes away") is a saying frequently attributed to Archbishop Fulton J.…
"The largest room in the world, is the 'room for improvement'" is an aphorism that has been cited in print since at least 1862. The authorship of the saying is unknown. 25…
"The last bite of a cookie isn’t really a bite because you don’t bite it, you just put it in your mouth" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on February 26, 2021. "Isn’t the…
"The Star-Spangled Banner" is the national anthem of the United States. The anthem has been regularly played at the start of baseball games since World War II. A frequent joke is that the…
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A last man on earth version is: "The last man on earth walks into a bar and says,…
"The last official act of any government is to loot the treasury" has been a popular quotation on many websites since the financial crisis of 2008. The quotation is usually attributed to…
New York Yankee Derek Jeter joined an exclusive baseball club when he got his 3,000 base hit on July 9, 2011. A month earlier, 3,000-hit-club member Tony Gwynn had advised Jeter, "Fortunately,…
The expression "that's the last thing I'll need" usually means that the person has no need for that thing. Jokes about a coffin take the "last thing" literally.…
"The last thing to grow on a fruit tree is the fruit" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "Not seeing results? Feel like giving up?…
"The final/last three outs are different (from the previous 24 outs)" is a baseball adage. The three outs in the ninth inning could be the end of a game. Unlike the beginning of the game,…
"The last time I had faith in the news was when it was with Huey Lewis" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. Huey Lewis and the News is an American rock band that…
When someone tells on old-old-old joke, the recipient of the joke might reply, "The last time I heard that I fell off my dinosaur." The line "fell off my dinosaur" has been used…