“I’m single AF and the AF stands for And Fat. I’m just single and fat”
"Single AF" usually means "single as fuck," but not always. "I’m single AF and the AF stands for And Fat. I’m just single and fat" has been posted on several…
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health
“I’m so broke, I can only afford Bottom Ramen”
Nissin Foods produces Top Ramen noodles; there is no "Middle Ramen" or "Bottom Ramen," but there are jokes. "When I was a kid we were so poor we could only afford bottom…
“I’m so fake at work I say things like, ‘hi, how are you?’”
Many people act fake at work, pretending to be pleasant and agreeable with co-workers. "I'm so fake at work. I honestly don't give two fucks about how your days been going smh"…
“I’m so old I can remember when the only fake news was the National Enquirer”
Donald Trump was elected U.S. president on November 8, 2016. He did not get along well with the mainstream media, and he called CNN (and others) as "fake news." Many people previously…
“I’m so out of shape, I got winded taking the tour of the gym”
"Wow, Im so out of shape that Im winded just taking the tour of the gym!" was posted on X/Twitter by Chia (KAI-ya) on November 16, 2009. "I’m so out of shape, I got winded taking…
“I’m so strong I can lift a house! Well, only if it’s a lighthouse”
A weightlifting joke was posted on Twitter on May 6, 2014: Stranger: You can lift a house? Me: Yep.Stranger: Wow, you must be strong.Me: Nah, it's a light house. "I'm so strong I can…
“I’m so strong I can lift buildings! Well, only if it’s a lighthouse”
A weightlifting joke was posted on Twitter on May 6, 2014: Stranger: You can lift a house? Me: Yep.Stranger: Wow, you must be strong.Me: Nah, it's a light house. "I'm so strong I can…
“I’m so unfamiliar with my gym that I have started calling it Mr. James”
"Gym" sounds like the personal name "Jim" (a male name for "James"). "A buddy and I used to call the gym "the James" because we didn't know it well…
“I’m sorry but the scholastic book fair did not inspire a love of reading it created my love of shopping”
Schools often sponsor a scholastic book fair. This comment was posted on X/Twitter by Adam on September 15, 2024, and it received over 313,000 likes: "i’m sorry but the scholastic book fair…
“I’m starting to miss people I don’t even like” (2019-20 coronavirus lockdown)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused home quarantines, and people were under stress. "Yeah, it's bad... I'm starting to miss people I don't even like!" was posted on…
“I’m starting to think governance by pedophiles and sexual predators/deviants covertly controlled…”
Electing pedophiles probably can't be good for government. This was posted on X/Twitter by Asha Logos on December 3, 2021: "I’m starting to think governance by pedophiles and sexual…
“I’m still single on Star Wars Day. Apparently I’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places”
"Lookin' for Love (in all the wrong places)" was a son in the movie Urban Cowboy (1980). "Looking for love in Alderaan places" is a Star Wars movie joke. "Honey,…
“I’m stuck between ‘I need to save money’ & ‘You only live once’”
The decision to spend money or to save money is sometimes a tough one. "I be like 'I need to save money' but then I be like f*k it,you only live once.." was posted on Twitter by…
“I’m the kind of mom who burns one side of the grilled cheese, serves it with the non-burned side up and crosses her fingers”
When making a grilled cheese sandwich, the bread on one side often burns. There are many jokes about this. "Is it even possible to make a grilled cheese without totally burning one side?"…
“I’m throwing a wine and cheese party tonight. Only for myself. And without the cheese”
A popular joke is about a person hosting a "wine and cheese party"...without cheese...and without guests. That is, the person is just drinking alcohol. "I'm hosting a cheese and…
“I’m tired of eating the same shit we need some new animals. I want a 6pc dragon tf..”
"I'm really tired of eating the same shit, but ain't no new animals coming out" was posted on X/Twitter by Musically_Inclined on March 28, 2017. "I'm really tired of…
“I’m tired of people saying ‘here’s my go to lazy meal’ and then they start chopping an onion”
When people want a simple "lazy meal," they really ant to be lazy. This was posted on X/Twitter by naledi on February 17, 2022, and it received over 628,000 likes: "I’m tired of…
“I’m traveling to Greenwich tomorrow. I’m not sure what to do in the Mean Time”
There have been several puns about Greenwich Mean Time. "Ok, so you go to the market in Greenwich then watch meteors in the park. What do you do in the MeanTime" was posted on Twitter on…
“I’m trying to pick a good film to have on in the background while I look at my phone all night”
Many people watch their phones while they are supposedly watching a movie. This joke was posted on Facebook and X/Twitter by Very British Problems on September 12, 2025 : "I’m trying to pick…
“I’m waiting for a reverse Hallmark Christmas Movie about a small town girl who realizes her community’s politics are terrible, moves to Manhattan…”
In a typical Hallmark Channel Christmas movie, the protagonist (a young woman) becomes disillusioned in the big city (such as New York City), and finds the true meaning of Christmas right in her…