“A tuba player walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A tuba version is: "A tuba player walks into a bar. The dent is $300 to repair."…
Sports/Games
“A tuba player walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A tuba version is: "A tuba player walks into a bar. The dent is $300 to repair."…
“A Tuesday after a holiday is like a double whammy Monday”
"A Tuesday after a holiday is like a double whammy Monday" (or "A Tuesday after a three/four-day weekend is like a double whammy Monday") is a work saying that has been printed…
“A turducken is technically a stuffed animal”
"Turducken" is a dish of a deboned chicken stuffed into a deboned duck, further stuffed into a deboned turkey. It is not a "stuffed animal," but there are jokes. "A new…
“A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer”
"A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is from the Frank and Ernest comic strip,…
“A TV channel dedicated to 24-hour cricket coverage should be called ‘No Rest For The Wicket’”
"No rest for the wicked" is from the Book of Isaiah verses 48:22 and 57:20-21. "No rest for the wicket" is a cricket joke. "The Bowlers have plenty to do, and there is no…
“A Twitter stranger doesn’t like my opinion. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time”
Some people have told jokes about the inflated importance of Twitter/Facebook. "ProzacNation_: a stranger has just informed me that he has unfollowed me on twitter. please respect my privacy…
“A Twizzler is the beef jerky of candy”
Twizzlers have been compared to beef jerky and to Slim Jim (an American snack brand). "Twizzlers are along the same line as such things as beef jerky; it's delicious and disgusting at the…
“A tyrant doesn’t ask for power over you. A tyrant asks for power over your neighbors”
"A tyrant doesn't ask for power over you. A tyrant asks for power over your neighbors" (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by Michael J Kalagias for US on June 23, 2022.…
“A university is a city in outer space”
The word "university" sounds like "universe city." A pun was posted on the website Pun of the Day by Joseph Leff of Brooklyn, New York, on November 9, 2017: "A university…
“A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students”
American poet John Ciardi (1916-1986) wrote in the Saturday Review on May 21, 1966: "A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students." Ciardi's…
“A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it’s not that good”
"A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it's not that good" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Martin LeBlanc…
“A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in”
"A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was credited to American humorist Robert Orben in Reader's…
“A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you’ve been taking”
"A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. New York City-based syndicated…
“A vanilla soy latte is a type of 3-bean soup”
"A vanilla soy latte is a type of 3-bean soup" is a saying that was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on July 19, 2017. The saying was reposted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on August 4,…
“A vegetarian is a person who doesn’t eat anything that can have children”
"A vegetarian is a person who doesn't eat anything that can have children" is a popular line from American stand-up comedian David Brenner (1935-2014). The one-line saying has been…
“A ventriloquist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A ventriloquist version has been cited in print since at least 2013: "A ventriloquist…
“A veteran is someone who wrote a blank check to the United States of America”
The following definition of a veteran was cited on the newsgroup parklandwatch on August 4, 2007: VETERAN A Veteran - whether active duty, retired, or national guard or reserve - is someone who, at…
“A Viagra shipment was stolen today. Cops are on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals”
What is a "hardened criminal"? A now-famous Viagra joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor.funny on May 20, 1998: "Following the approval of Viagra by the UK's health…
“A violinist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." Sometimes the "bar" involves musical notation. "A violinist walks into a…