"My coffee and I are currently discussing whether we even want to participate in today" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is getting the morning…
"My coffee is stronger than your feelings" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker has strong coffee to help endure opposing views. "My coffee is…
"My coffee looked at me this morning and told me, 'Sorry I don't do miracles'" is a coffee saying that has been printed on several images. "Even the coffee this…
"My coffee needs coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. Twitter Alex Chou@LXChouOn Monday mornings like this, I feel like my coffee needs a coffee.5:15 AM · Jul…
"My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead. http://sickipedia.org/joke/1562991" was posted on Twitter on April 14, 2014. The…
"Off his rocker" (meaning a crazy person) sounds like "office rocker." "My boss traded in his desk chair for a recliner & became addicted to playing 'Guitar…
"My nickname is Mr. Compromise. Thats what all my friends call me. Though it's not the name I would have picked for myself...it's alright, I guess" is a joke that was posted on…
Many college graduations are held inside in arenas, where over 1,000 degrees may be handed out. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 26, 2017: "My college graduation was held inside the…
"My compliments to the chef" is what a diner might say to a waiter after a good restaurant meal. At a vegan/vegetarian restaurant, the meal is mostly vegetables. "At a vegetarian…
A joke comparing a crashed computer to a crashed car -- and rubbernecking delays -- was posted on Twitter on August 5, 2013: "My computer crashed and now all the other computers have slowed…
"Malware" should not be written or pronounced like "mall-wear," but there are jokes. "RT @TJSullivanLA: It's pronounced mal-ware, not 'mall-wear.' 1st virus…
American comedian Phyllis Diller is credited with a popular Thanksgiving line: “My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” The Japanese military attack…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in home lockdowns. Many people did not get enough exercise and ate a lot, gaining weight similar to a college student's "freshman 15"…
"My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull" is a phrase of uncertain origin. It's so familiar in some parts that "My cow died last night" is all that needs to…
Many people feel that the rich own the world and everyone else seems to be just there to serve them. "My coworker and I were talking about capitalism and he said this: 'the earth is a…
Credit card companies check for "suspicious activity. This was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 24, 2023: "Credit card company called me to report suspicious activity... I asked what…
An "outstanding balance" means that money is owed, but it's often joked that an "outstanding balance" means a wonderful or exceptional balance. "It is so nice to…
Some people never seem to join a gym, and there's a joke about it. "I tried to join a gym. My credit card was declined because the cc company viewed this as 'suspicious…
Brick "pointing" is not the same as finger pointing, but there are jokes. "My old uncle used to say 'It's rude to point.' Brilliant man, but terrible brick…
The first rule of the theatre (show business) is 'always leave them wanting more" is a saying of unknown authorship. The premise is to leave the audience on a positive note, wanting more…