“My son said he was smart so I asked him to spell it…” (joke)
This smart joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on September 7, 2022: "My son said he was smart so I asked him to spell it.'S-M-A-R-T' he said.I’ve never been more…
Archive for /P9480
“Don’t ask me why I’m a vegetarian. Ask yourself why you’re not”
"Don't ask me why I'm vegan. Ask yourself why you're not" and "Don't ask me why I'm a vegetarian. Ask yourself why you're not" are sayings that…
“I think about winning the lottery way too much for someone that don’t buy lottery tickets”
"I think about winning the lottery way too much for someone that don't buy lottery tickets" and "I fantasize about winning the lottery way too much for someone who never buys…
“Don’t ask me why I’m vegan. Ask yourself why you’re not”
"Don't ask me why I'm vegan. Ask yourself why you're not" and "Don't ask me why I'm a vegetarian. Ask yourself why you're not" are sayings that…
“I fantasize about winning the lottery way too much for someone who never buys lotto tickets”
"I think about winning the lottery way too much for someone that don't buy lottery tickets" and "I fantasize about winning the lottery way too much for someone who never buys…
Evilarchy (evil + oligarchy)
"Evilarchy" (evil + oligarchy) is a term sometimes used instead of "New World Order" or "Bilderberger" or "WEFer" or "Illuminati." An…
“Let’s make one thing clear, ‘the experts’ were never wrong. They were always lying. Big difference”
"LET'S MAKE ONE THING CLEAR, 'THE EXPERTS' WERE NEVER WRONG. THEY WERE ALWAYS LYING. BIG DIFFERENCE" was posted on an image on imgflip. This image was posted on Twitter by…
“Those who need leaders are not qualified to choose them”
"Those who need leaders are not qualified to choose them" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, according to the speaker, someone who needs a leader is weak and is…
“I think about winning the lottery way too much for someone who doesn’t even play it”
"I think about winning the lottery way too much for someone that don't buy lottery tickets" and "I fantasize about winning the lottery way too much for someone who never buys…
“Let’s be honest. Most people going skinny dipping are really just going dipping”
"Ok let’s be honest. Most people you ever see go skinny dipping are more actually.. just going dipping" was posted on Facebook by Norm MacDonald Jokes on December 15, 2018. "Lets…
“It’s the weekend, baby! Might mess around and use a different setting on the washing machine”
"it’s the weekend, baby! might mess around and use a different setting on the washing machine" was posted on Twitter by Mowgli on January 23, 2022. That is, the speaker is not doing…
“Twitter is a handy and constant reminder that socialists are disgusting people”
Many people believe that the social media company Twitter is socialist, and that it has banned free speech (especially conservative speech). English broadcaster and journalist posted this on…
“Foreign aid is the politically correct term for money laundering”
"I'm beginning to think that foreign aid is just code for money laundering" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "Foreign Aid is just a fancy word for money…
“Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone”
"Ain't No Sunshine" (1971) is a song by Bill Withers (1938-2020). The lyric "Ain't no sunshine when she's gone" is joked as ""Ain't no sunshine…
“Foreign aid is a fancy name for money laundering”
"I'm beginning to think that foreign aid is just code for money laundering" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "Foreign Aid is just a fancy word for money…
“Foreign aid is just another term for money laundering”
"I'm beginning to think that foreign aid is just code for money laundering" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "Foreign Aid is just a fancy word for money…
“How do Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head solve their arguments?”/“They hash it out.”
A Mr. Potato Head riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on September 7, 2022: Q: How do Mr. and Mrs. Potato head solve their arguments?A: They hash it out. Wikipedia: Mr. Potato HeadMr. Potato…
“Ate my last piece of cheese yesterday. Today it’s raining. Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone”
"Ain't No Sunshine" (1971) is a song by Bill Withers (1938-2020). The lyric "Ain't no sunshine when she's gone" is joked as ""Ain't no sunshine…
“You can’t give away a used mattress but somehow we’ll pay 100/night to sleep on one at a hotel”
"You can’t give away a used mattress but somehow we’ll pay three hundred bucks a night to sleep on one at a hotel" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Earlier versions…
“For better digestion, I drink beer. In case of appetite loss, I drink white wine…” (joke)
"Interview with a wise 101 year-old Hattie Mae MacDonald of Feague, Kentucky" is a drinking joke that has been circulating since at least 2014. There is no Feague, Kentucky. The…