“The best vitamin for making friends is B-1”
"The best vitamin for making friends is B-1 (be one)" is a pun that has been printed on many images. The joke was published in Boys' Life magazine in October 1977. Google…
Archive for /P25860
“How do bunnies stay healthy?”/“Eggercise.”
An Easter bunny riddle is: Q: How do bunnies stay healthy?A: Eggercise. The "eggercise" (eggs + exercise) joke has been cited in print since at least 2000. “How do bunnies stay in…
“Spring is not the best of seasons. Cold and flu are two good reasons”
A poem about spring is: "Spring is not the best of seasons. Cold and flu are two good reasons; Wind and rain and other sorrow,Warm today and cold tomorrow.Whoever said spring was romantic?The…
“A winner makes commitments. A loser makes promises”
American journalist Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986) wrote a "Strictly Personal" column in January 1967 that was titled, "How to tell a Winner from a Loser." A popular line is:…
“There’s nothing wrong with me a little ice cream won’t fix”
"There's nothing wrong with me that a little ice cream won't fix" is a one-line saying that has been printed on several images. The saying has been cited in print since at least…
“Bunnies are cuddly, the large and the small. I like chocolate ones the best of them all”
A popular verse about chocolate Easter bunnies is: Bunnies are brownBunnies are whiteBunnies are alwaysAn Easter delight. Bunnies are cuddlyThe large and the small.But I like chocolate onesThe best…
“What do you call a wooden car with wooden wheels?”/“Wooden go.”
A car pun is: Q: What do you call a wooden car with wooden wheels?A: Wooden (wouldn't) go. The joke was posted on the newsgroup eunet.jokes on August 4, 1993. Google Groups: eunet.jokesAnother…
“Not sure if mine is the best ceiling in the world, but it’s definitely up there”
A ceiling joke has been printed on many images: "I'm not sure if my ceiling is THE best ceiling, but it's definitely up there."" The line was posted on Twitter on May 22,…
Eleventh Commandment (“Thou shalt not get caught”)
There are Ten Commandments in the Hebrew Bible. but people often add others, usually in jest. A popular Eleventh Commandment in the early 1800s was "Mind your business." A political…
“Mistakes are a great educator when one is honest enough to admit them”
"Mistakes are a great educator when one is honest enough to admit them and willing to learn from them" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The saying has been credited to…
“When you’re out of quality, you’re out of business”
"When you're out of quality, you're out of business" is a business saying of unknown authorship. A Georgia business leader called it an "old saying" in 1985. The…
Eleventh Commandment (“Mind your business”)
There are Ten Commandments in the Hebrew Bible. but people often add others, usually in jest. A political Eleventh Commandment in the 1880s was "Thou shalt not get caught." A political…
“What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?”/“A rash of good luck.”
A four-leaf clover joke that has been popular on St. Patrick's Day has been printed on several images: Q: What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?A: A rash of good…
“The slow man with integrity will ultimately catch the swift one who has none”
"The slow man/person with integrity will ultimately catch the swift one who has none" is a business saying that has been printed on several images. The saying has been cited in print…
“I’m not homophobic. I’m not afraid of my house!”
A person who is "homophobic" has a fear of homosexuals, but there's a joke: "I'm not homophobic. I'm not afraid of my house!" English comedian and actor Peter Kay…
“A criminal’s best asset is his lie-ability”
"A criminal's best asset is his lie-ability" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on images. The "liability" pun was posted on the website Pun of the Day in April…
“Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning” (joke)
A classic school joke is: Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.Class: Hooray!Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon. The joke has been cited in print…
“I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a shit in days”
"I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days" is a jocular line that has been printed on several ecards. The saying was posted on Twitter on August 9, 2012 and…
“Why did the strawberry cross the road?”/“Because his mother was in a jam.”
A traffic "jam" riddle is: Q: Why did the strawberry cross the road?A: Because his mother was in a jam. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1995 and has been printed on…
“Why did the strawberry cross the road?”/“Because his mother was in a jam.”
A strawberry riddle is: Q: Why did the strawberry cross the road?A: Because his mother was in a jam. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1995 and has been printed on images. 10 July…