“What do you get from eating too much guacamole?”/“Guacoma.”
"Guacoma" is a portmanteau word that can mean a disease from eating too much guacamole (guacamole + coma) or a disease of the eyes caused by guacamole (guacamole + glaucoma).…
Archive for /P22940
“I just got a job working in a full size cuckoo clock…” (joke)
A cuckoo clock often features a figure that comes out of a house to strike the hour. A cuckoo clock joke was posted on Twitter on December 10, 2010: "I've got a job working in a full size…
“A dickhead walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A dickhead version is: "A dickhead walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the…
“Guacamole is just avocado salsa”
Guacamole contains avocados; avocado salsa contains avocados. Guacamole is not the same as avocado salsa -- salsa is usually hotter -- but many people believe that they are the same. "Or make…
“What kind of milk do they use to make Swiss cheese?”/“Hole milk.”
A riddle about the holes in Swiss cheese is: Q: What kind of milk do they use to make Swiss cheese?A: Hole milk. The pun is on "whole milk." "Is Swiss cheese made out of hole…
“What do farmers use to make crop circles?”/“A protractor.”
A crop circle joke has been cited in print since at least 2009: Q: What do farmers use to make crop circles?A: A protractor. Farmers usually use tractors. A protractor makes circles. Wikipedia:…
“Forget everything you learned in college. You won’t need it working here” (joke)
People are often told by new employers, "Forget everything you learned in college!" The idea behind the statement is that "real world" applications are different. A joke was…
“I’ve got a job as part of a human chess board. I’m on knights this week”
People on a human chess board work as kings, queens, bishops, knights, rooks and pawns. A joke was posted on Twitter on September 8, 2014: "I've just started work as a human chess…
“I just got a job working in a full size cuckoo clock…” (joke)
A cuckoo clock often features a figure that comes out of a house to strike the hour. A cuckoo clock joke was posted on Twitter on December 10, 2010: "I've got a job working in a full size…
“A dog walks into a telegram office…” (joke)
People don't send telegrams anymore. However, a "dog walks into a telegram/telegraph office" joke has been popular since at least 1984. Google BooksJokes: Outrageous bits, atrocious…
“Forget everything you learned in college. You won’t need it working here” (joke)
People are often told by new employers, "Forget everything you learned in college!" The idea behind the statement is that "real world" applications are different. A joke was…
“What do you call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?”/“Santapplause.”
"Santapplause" (Santa Claus + applause) is a Christmas portmanteau word. "Broadway Santapplause" was used by New York-born gossip columnist Walter Winchell (1897-1972) in 1946.…
“No matter how much it rains, there’s a place in you that never stops shining”
"No matter how much it rains, there's a place in you that never stops shining" is an inspirational and motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "There is a…
“Sometimes all you need is a hug from the right person and all your stress will melt away”
"Sometimes all you need is a hug" is an old saying. "Sometimes all you need is a hug from the right person and all your stress will melt away" is an inspirational saying that…
“What do you call a flying monkey?”/“A hot air baboon.”
A hot air balloon shouldn't be confused with a hot air baboon. A riddle is: Q: What do you call a flying monkey?A: A hot air baboon. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1992.…
“Where do fortune tellers dance?”/“At the crystal ball.”
People dance at a ball, but a "crystal ball" pun is: Q: Where do fortune tellers dance?A: At the crystal ball. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1984. Google BooksThe…
“What wobbles and flies?”/“A jellycopter.”
Jelly wobbles, but it usually doesn't fly like a helicopter. A popular food riddle is: Q: What wobbles when it flies?A: A jelly-copter. The "jellycopter" joke has been cited in print…
“Knock, knock.”/“Who’s there?”/“Ya.”/“Ya who?”/“Dot com.”
A knock-knock joke has been cited in print since at least 1976: Knock, knock.Who's there?Ya.Ya who?What are you so happy about? The joke became relevant to Yahoo.com in this version posted on…
“Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a cornfield?”/“Because the corn has ears.”
A corn riddle is: Q: Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a cornfield?A: Because the corn has ears. The corn pun is an old classic. "Tell not your secrets in a corn-field; it has thousands…
“What wobbles when it flies?”/“A jelly-copter.”
Jelly wobbles, but it usually doesn't fly like a helicopter. A popular food riddle is: Q: What wobbles when it flies?A: A jelly-copter. The "jellycopter" joke has been cited in print…