“What did the sandwich say to the doorman?”/“Please lettuce in.”
A sandwich riddle was posted on Reddit -- Badjokes on September 12, 2017: Q: What did the sandwich say to the doorman?A: "Please lettuce in." "Lettuce" sounds like "let…
Archive for /P22460
“I ordered tennis balls on the internet, but the site crashed. Must be problems with the server”
Websites often have a problem with a "server," providing the basis of tennis puns. "Just tried to get on the British Tennis Association's website but they're having…
“How do trees feel in the spring?”/“Releaved.”
A tree riddle has been printed on several images: Q: How do trees feel in the spring?A: Releaved. "Releaved" (for "relieved") is a pun on the word "leaves." A tree…
“Curry OK?”/“Sorry, I hate singing in public.” (karaoke joke)
"Karaoke" sounds a bit like "curry OK." A joke has someone enter an Indian restaurant and the waiter asks, "Curry OK?" The diner responds, "Sorry, I hate singing…
“Alcohol is like a push-up bra for your personality”
"Alcohol is like a push-up bra for your personality" -- that is, alcohol makes you more interesting to others -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on…
“That smells like lentils and desperation”
In one scene in the movie Spy Kids: All the Time in the World (2011), a baby poops and one character (played by actor Jeremy Piven) says: "That smells like lentils and desperation." The…
“Did you hear the joke about the banana peel?”/“Sorry, it must have slipped my mind.”
The "slipping on a banana peel joke" has been popular since the 1800s. A different kind of slippage -- slipping one's mind -- has been cited in print since at least December 7, 1011:…
“Scotland has Lochs, but Florida has Keys”
"Loch" (lock) and "key" is sometimes applied to geography. "Florida has keys, but no locks. Scotland has lochs, but no keys. Maybe we should put the two together?" was…
“Sometimes I cook with hate just to see if anyone can really tell the difference”
"Cook/Cooked/Cooking with love" is a common expression, usually referring to slow fast (as opposed to fast food). People often wonder if there is an opposite expression. "Oh, really?…
“Where do bees go to the bathroom?”/“At the BP station.”
A bee riddle has been printed on several images: Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?A: At the BP (bee pee) station. The BP pun was posted on the newsgroup ucd.talk.bugnews on January 16, 1996.…
“I saw an Elvis impersonator covered in cream and black cherries, singing ‘In the Gâteau’”
"Gâteau" (plural is "gâteaux") is French for "cake." It sounds like the word "ghetto." Both "gâteau" and ""gâteaux" have been…
“If the plan doesn’t work, change the plan, but never the goal”
"If the plan doesn’t work, change the plan, but never the goal" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "If the plan doesn’t work, change the plan, but…
“Curry OK?”/“Sorry, I hate singing in public.” (karaoke joke)
"Karaoke" sounds a bit like "curry OK." A joke has someone enter an Indian restaurant and the waiter asks, "Curry OK?" The diner responds, "Sorry, I hate singing…
“Where did the piglets study their ABC’s?”/“At a school for higher loining.”
A piglet riddle is: Q: Where did the piglets study their ABC's?A: At a school for higher loining. The "higher loining"/"higher learning" pun has been cited in print since…
“I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today” (joke)
Many people take the batteries out of a carbon monoxide detector because of constant false beeping, but often the beeping isn't false. "I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide…
“Give a Nigerian a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he becomes a prince”
A popular proverb is: "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.” A version of this involves the Nigerian advance-fee scam: "Give…
“What kind of band plays snappy music?”/“A rubber band.”
A band riddle is: Q: What kind of band plays snappy music?A: A rubber band. "Does the rubber band play snappy music?" was printed in many newspapers in 1935. "What kind of band plays…
“Paying rent is like hitting the snooze button on being homeless”
"Paying rent is like hitting the snooze button on being homeless" was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on September 5, 2014. That is, paying rent, like hitting a snooze button, is…
“Looking back, I wish I’d bought my baked beans online. Heinz site is a wonderful thing”
The American food processing company Heinz has a website, and there have been puns on "Heinz site" (hindsight). "You can order ketchup online! That's the benefit of Heinz…
“I’ve never seen a tombstone that said, ‘Died from not forwarding a chain email’”
"Died From Not Forwarding That Email to 10 People" is a jocular saying about chain emails that has been printed on many fake tombstones. "I've never seen a tombstone that read:…