“Unsweetened tea isn’t actually unsweetened, it’s non-sweetened”
Several people have pointed out that it shouldn't be called "unsweetened" tea, but should be called "non-sweetened " tea. The sweetness (such as sugar) wasn't taken…
Archive for /P19540
“I swallowed a dictionary. It gave me thesaurus throat I’ve ever had”
"Thesaurus" sometimes sounds like "the sorest." "My mom just said when she had strep she had thesaurus throat shes ever had" was posted on Twitter by Jake DeLoera on…
“Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?”/“Swarm.”
"Swarm" sounds like "it's warm." A joke was posted on Twitter by FizzyDuck -- and many others -- on February 21, 2010: Q: Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?A:…
“A blackberry is a goth raspberry”
A blackberry is comparable to a raspberry. A blackberry is darker in color than a raspberry; a blackberry is also more tart and less sweet in taste. "A blackberry is like a goth…
“What do you get when you mix holy water with vodka?”/“The holy spirit.”
A religious riddle is: Q: What do you get when you mix holy water with vodka?A: The holy spirit. "MIXED JOKES: what do you get when you mix Holy Water with whiskey? The Holy spirit" was…
“Some people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July, but not fire. Fire works”
"Fireworks" shouldn't be confused with "fire works," but there are jokes. "I'm excited for the 4th of July, one of the only days of the year we all get the day…
Jassack Band (Jackass Band; Jazzack)
"Jassack" (or "jass-ack") is a metathesis of the word "jackass." The word "jassack" has been cited in print since at least 1839. "Jassack" possibly…
Jassack (jackass)
"Jassack" (or "jass-ack") is a metathesis of the word "jackass." The word "jassack" was printed in the Marshall County Republican (Holly Springs, MS) on…
“Hey there, Delilah. What’s it like in New York City?”
"Hey There Delilah" (2006) is a song by American rock band Plain White T's. "Hey there, Delilah. What's it like in New York City?" is a question asked at the…
“I saw a movie on databases today. Can’t wait for the SQL”
"SQL" (Structured Query Language) can sound like "sequel." "That was almost as good as the database movie, Skye. I can't wait for the Sql" was posted on Twitter…
“Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!” (joke)
"Parkinson's disease" has nothing to do with "parking," but there are jokes. "Parking-sons Disease Forgetting where you've parked your car" was entered in…
“Old card players never die—they just shuffle away”
"Old soldiers never die -- they just fade away” is an old saying that was popularized by General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964) in his farewell address to Congress on April 19, 1951. Many…
“Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off”
"Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Patience is the ability to count down before blasting off" was…
“Patience is the ability to count down before blasting off”
"Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Patience is the ability to count down before blasting off" was…
“It was so hot in New York that I saw squirrels fanning their nuts”
Television's Late Show with David Letterman (1993-2015) was based in New York City, and there were many New York City jokes. David Letterman told this joke in July 29, 1999, as posted on the…
“It was so cold in New York that, in Central Park, I saw a squirrel salting his nuts”
Television's Late Show with David Letterman (1993-2015) was based in New York City, and there were many New York City jokes. David Letterman told this joke on January 23, 2004, as posted to…
“I met a drunk ventriloquist who said she wanted to sleep with me…” (joke)
“'This may be the wine talking' – Drunk Ventriloquist" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Steve on August 18, 2014. "I met a drunk ventriloquist who said she wanted to…
“You have to put off being young until you can retire”
"You have to put off being young until you can retire" --- that is, when you have money -- is a retirement saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print…
“In college, I double-majored in accounting and dentistry” (joke)
A joke about college majors was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on July 2, 2019: "In college, I double-majored in accounting and dentistry. Now I can crunch numbers AND numb crunchers."…
“Bold stripes, bright stars, brave hearts”
"Bold stripes, bright stars, brave hearts" is a patriotic saying that has been printed on many images. "Bold stripes, bright stars, brave hearts. #FourthOfJuly…