“I’ve mixed I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter with butter & now I don’t know what to believe!”
"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" is a substitute product for butter. "RT: @haydenblack: I put butter in my I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Now I don't…
Archive for /P16120
“I put the thingamabob inside the whatchamacallit, turned the doohickey…”
Folksy "placeholder" words sound more ridiculous in the same sentence. "I've told them a hundred times 'Don't touch the whatchamacallit because it will make the…
“Why do girls float?”/“They’re boyn’t.”
"Buoyant" has nothing to do with "boy," but "boyn't" is a pun. "Boys always sink but girls don't because they're boyn't" was posted on…
“Why is it called a sperm bank and not a cumpany?”
"Why call a sperm bank a cryobank.....might as well call it a Cumpany" (cum + company) is a portmanteau word suggestion that was posted on Twitter by Olufemi on August 19, 2011.…
“Don’t touch the whatchamacallit because it will make the doohickey not work with the thingamabob”
Folksy "placeholder" words sound more ridiculous in the same sentence. "I've told them a hundred times 'Don't touch the whatchamacallit because it will make the…
“If you want to start a company and run it yourself then that’s your business”
"That's your business" usually means "that's your life/prerogative" and does not refer to an actual business, but there are jokes. “@cluedont: If you want to set up…
“If you want to set up a company and run it then that’s your business”
"That's your business" usually means "that's your life/prerogative" and does not refer to an actual business, but there are jokes. “@cluedont: If you want to set up…
“The existence of the meatball sub implies that there is a meatball dom”
"Dominance and submission" or "dom/sub" does not apply to "sub" sandwiches, but there are jokes. "Meatball dom / meatball sub" was posted on Twitter by…
“How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?” (joke)
“How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?” is a joke with many punchlines. A popular version is: Q: How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Not sure, first…
“Never underestimate the importance of being properly caffeinated”
"Never underestimate the importance of being properly caffeinated" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Have a #GoodMorning and a nice day [and... never…
“People who used to be late and blamed it on traffic are still late to their Zoom meetings”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to work at home, through Zoom meetings. "People who used to be late and blamed it on traffic are still late to their zoom meetings"…
“I know several jokes in sign language. I guarantee nobody has ever heard them”
Sign language is not a spoken language. A joke was posted on AskReddit on July 9, 2020: "I know several jokes in sign language. I guarantee nobody has ever heard them." Reddit --…
“Trans girls float really well. They’re boyn’t”
"Buoyant" has nothing to do with "boy," but "boyn't" is a pun. "Boys always sink but girls don't because they're boyn't" was posted on…
“I almost caught COVID yesterday, but I quickly stood on a social distancing sticker”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many stores having social distancing stickers where customers can stand at a distance from each other. The joke is that a person is safe standing on a…
Coronagate (coronavirus + -gate)
Wikipedia: 2019-20 coronavirus outbreakThe 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome…
Covid Gate (COVID-19 + -gate)
Wikipedia: 2019-20 coronavirus outbreakThe 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome…
“Keep your nose in your mask and out my business bitch”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. "Keep your nose outta my business and under your mask" was posted on Twitter by gnat on July 8, 2020.…
“Keep your nose in your mask and out of my business”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. "Keep your nose outta my business and under your mask" was posted on Twitter by gnat on July 8, 2020.…
“Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. EAT ME NOW. Too late.—Avocados”
Avocados spoil quickly. This was posted by Hughes on July 8, 2013, responding to a comment about "the three minute window of avocado ripeness": "Can I eat you…
“If heaven had a flavor, it would be coffee”
"If heaven had a flavor, it would be coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "says if heaven had a flavor……… it would be coffee!" was posted on…