“I’m just going to pour myself a bottle of wine and call it a day”
"I'm just going to pour myself a bottle of wine and call it a day" and "...and then I was like, I'm just going to pour myself a bottle of wine and call it a day" have…
Archive for 09/2021
Little Austin (Denton nickname)
Denton is a city that is the country seat of Denton County, Texas. Denton has been nicknamed "Little Austin" since at least 2009 because, like the Texas city of Austin, it has many…
“Food trucks should start parking outside of restaurants that require a vaccine pass”
"Food trucks should start parking outside of restaurants that require a vaccine pass" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in…
“Why don’t Chinese kids believe in Santa?”/“Because they make the toys.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: Why don’t Chinese kids believe in Santa?A: Because they make the toys. That is, the toys aren't made by elves in the North Pole -- they're made in China. The…
“Money is not free speech. Corporations are not people”
"Corporations are not people" and "Money is not free speech" are two political sayings (often grouped together) that have been printed on many images. The saying have often been…
“If bread goes bad, we throw it away, If bananas go bad, we make bread out of them”
Bananas go bad fast, and many people use bad bananas in banana bread. This saying was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on November 28, 2017: "If bread goes bad we throw it away, If bananas…
“The system isn’t broken. It’s fixed”
"The system isn't broken. It's fixed" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The system" usually refers to the political system and the monetary system,…
“Facebook: Where idiots complain about other idiots being idiots”
"Facebook: Where idiots complain about other idiots being idiots" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Women's Humor on March 20,…
“Corporations are not people. Money is not free speech”
"Corporations are not people" and "Money is not free speech" are two political sayings (often grouped together) that have been printed on many images. The saying have often been…
“Texans measure distance in hours, not miles”
Texas is a large state. "You measure distances in hours out here, not miles" was printed in the Austin (TX) American-Statesman on July 7, 1996. "You Know You're From A Small…
“If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas”
Texas is a large state. "You measure distances in hours out here, not miles" was printed in the Austin (TX) American-Statesman on July 7, 1996. "You Know You're From A Small…
“The opposite of Dr Pepper is Patient Salt”
There is a Dr Pepper carbonated soft drink, and some people think there should be a "Patient Salt." "'I will be Dr. Pepper and you can be Patient Salt.' -- Ethan" was…
“If I ever win the lottery, nobody around me will be poor. I will move to a rich neighborhood”
Some lottery winners share their riches, and some don't. A joke was posted on Sickipedia on September 20, 2021: "If I ever win the lottery, rest assured, nobody around me will be poor. I…
“Three programmers walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A programmer version is: "A programmer walks into a bar holding up two fingers and…
“They don’t have to say it’s martial law if they call it a quarantine”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in some quarantines. Many people compared the quarantines to martial law. "THEY DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT'S MARTIAL LAW IF THEY CALL IT A…
“How do you know when a website is lying? It ends in dot gov”
United States government websites end in ".gov," and many people do not have faith in the federal government. An image was posted on Twitter by hackerbot.eth on February 6, 2021:…
“To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now”
A joke about queues was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on September 20, 2021: "To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now." That is, the speaker is now standing…
“Quarantine is a safe word for martial law”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in some quarantines. Many people compared the quarantines to martial law. "THEY DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT'S MARTIAL LAW IF THEY CALL IT A…
“I met my wife on Tinder. That was awkward”
Tinder is an American online dating website. "I met my wife on Tinder" could mean success -- the person's Tinder date resulted in a marriage. However, the line is used as a joke,…
“A software tester walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." There are several version involving a software tester. This is from the Ministy of Testing…