“I told my mother-in-law to make herself at home, so she sold the place”
A typical "mother-in-law joke" involves her coming to the son-in-law's house. "Pat told his mother-in-law to make herself at home. She did. She sold it" was printed in the…
Archive for 05/2019
“It took me a long time to figure out I’m a slow learner”
"It took me a long time to come to realize that I'm a slow learner" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Tim Haines on April 7, 2011. "It took me a long time to realize…
“Different strokes for different folks”
"Different strokes for different folks" means that people have different styles and tastes, or different ways of doing something. What's good (or works) for one person might not be…
“Sales sells the first car and service sells the rest” (car dealership adage)
"Sales sells the first car and service sells the rest" is an old adage among car dealers. It's not known who said it first. "We believe sales sells your first car, but service…
“If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects, how can a single student learn them all?”
"If a single teacher can't teach us all the subjects, then how can you expect a single student to learn all the subjects?" is a jocular school saying that has been printed on many…
“Are monsters good at math?”/“No, unless you Count Dracula.”
A math riddle has been printed on many images: Q: Are monsters good at math?A: No, unless you Count Dracula. Forms of the joke have been cited in print since at least 2001. Wikipedia: Dracula…
“Be happy with what you have while working for what you want”
"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Be happy with what you have while working toward getting what you…
“When you have hit rock bottom and survived, there are very few things that can scare you”
"When you have hit rock bottom (before) and survived, there are very few things in life that can scare you" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is…
“If you’ve survived after hitting rock bottom, hardly anything can scare you”
"When you have hit rock bottom (before) and survived, there are very few things in life that can scare you" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is…
“Attract what you expect. Reflect what you desire. Become what you respect. Mirror what you admire”
"Attract what you expect. Reflect what you desire. Become what you respect. Mirror what you admire" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "You attract what…
“My dad always said, ‘Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.’ Balance: $9.11”
"Work until your bank account looks like a phone number” is a popular saying that went viral in September 2014. A popular joke is that the phone number is "911" -- the emergency…
“Rule #1: The boss is always right. Rule #2: If the boss is wrong, see Rule #1”
"Rule #1: The boss is always right. Rule #2: If the boss is wrong, see Rule #1" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. This was printed in the Advance-Register (Tulare,…
“Why shouldn’t you insult an Italian baker?”/“Because he’ll beat the focaccia.”
"Focaccia" is a flat oven-baked Italian bread that sounds a little bit like "fuck out of ya." "Talkin bout my bread, I'll beat the focaccia.…
“4 out of 3 people struggle with math”
"4 out of 3 people struggle with math" (or "5 out of 4 people struggle with math") is a jocular math saying that has been printed on many images. "Triggie, but you know,…
“What do you call a stripper from Malta?”/“A Malteser.”
"Maltesers" are a British confectionery product with a a spheroid malted milk centre. The candy has nothing to do with the country of Malta, but there's a riddle: Q: What do you call…
“I recently opened a restaurant. I guess you could call me an entrée-preneur”
"Entrepreneur" is sometimes jocularly written as "entrée-preneur," especially for someone in the restaurant business (such as an entrepreneur who sells entrées). "THE…
“The best view comes after the hardest climb”
"The best view comes after the hardest climb" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "The hardest climb offers the best view from the top" was posted…
“5 out of 4 people struggle with math”
"4 out of 3 people struggle with math" (or "5 out of 4 people struggle with math") is a jocular math saying that has been printed on many images. "Triggie, but you know,…
“Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness”
"Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "'Having a soft heart in a cruel world is…
“Sometimes it takes an overwhelming breakdown to have an undeniable breakthrough”
"Sometimes it takes an overwhelming breakdown to have an undeniable breakthrough" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "Eddie Robinson told me this at…