“Prophets are going through the roof” (joke)
"Profits are going through the roof" is an expression meaning that a business is generating a lot of money. A joke has been printed on several images: "I opened a company selling…
Archive for 05/2016
“Two people lectured me on brown bread. I think they’re Hovis witnesses”
Hovis is a British bread company. There's a joke that puns "Hovis" with "Jehovah" (of Jehovah's Witnesses): "Two women knocked at my door and started preaching to…
“What do math teachers call retirement?”/“The ‘aftermath.’”
A joke about math teachers is: Q: What do math teachers call retirement?A: The aftermath. The joke has been cited in print in 1968 and 1999. Google BooksFaculty Conference; Papers and…
Fakebook (Facebook nickname)
Facebook is an online social networking service that was founded in 2004. Facebook is often nicknamed "Fakebook," a name that was also used on a 1990 album by the American indie rock band…
“They picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone else works twice as hard”
"I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!" is a jocular line. The saying originated on the American…
“I once tried to sniff Coke, but the ice cubes blocked my nostrils”
One joke about Coke (Coca-Cola) and coke (cocaine) is: "I once tried to sniff Coke, but the ice cubes blocked my nostrils." "I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck…
“What did the green grape say to the purple grape?”/“Breathe!”
A popular children's joke about grapes is: Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?A: Breathe! The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. 28 November 2007, Wisconsin…
“Why was the feminist picnic cancelled?”/“Because nobody made sandwiches.”
A popular "politically incorrect" joke is told about feminists and preparing food: Q: Why was the feminist picnic cancelled?A: Because nobody made sandwiches. "That awkward moment at…
“Why is 6 afraid of 7?”/“Because 7 8 9.”
A children's number riddle is: Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?A: Because 7 8 (ate) 9. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1986. “Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6…
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week”
"Find a job you like and you add five days to every week" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American bestselling author H. Jackson Brown, Jr. wrote the line for his book,…
“We’re not born just to pay bills and die”
"We're not born just to pay bills and die" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The positive (jocular?) saying came first. "My saying is your born, work, pay bills,…
“If you don’t like where you are, move! You are not a tree!”
"If you don't like where you are, move! You are not a tree!" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "If you don't like where you are, get out, or…
“Don’t pick a job with great vacation time. Pick one that doesn’t need escaping from”
"Don’t pick a job with great vacation time. Pick one that doesn’t need escaping from" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Rather than counting down the days to…
“If I knew you were coming, I’d have baked a cake”
"If I knew you were coming, I'd have baked a cake" is a famous line that, according to a 1951 newspaper article below, was coined by American actor Walter Catlett (1889-1960) in the…
Waffle Iron (432 Park Avenue)
The building called 432 Park Avenue, at 56th Street in Manhattan, was completed in 2015 and immediately became the tallest residential building in the world. The 432 Park Avenue building has had a…
“A towel walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A towel version is: "A towel walks into a bar. He orders a drink and says,…
“Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision”
"Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision," American management consultant Peter Drucker (1909-2005) said in 1962. The quotation has been cited in…
“Worrying is like praying for something that you don’t want to happen”
"Worrying is like praying for something that you don't want to happen" is saying that has been printed on many images. The origin of the saying is unknown, but it became popular in…
“A pair of dice walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A dice version is: "A pair of dice walk into a bar. The bartender asks, 'What are…
“A book walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A book version is: "A book walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Please, no…