“Laughter is the closest distance between two people”
"Laughter is the closest/shortest distance between two people" has been credited to Danish comedian and pianist Victor Borge (1908-2000), who used several variations of this saying.…
Archive for 11/2015
“Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer” (pun)
"The Christmas Song" (often called by its opening line, "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire") made its way, by at least 1972, into a popular and terrible chess pun: "Chess…
“My wife will buy anything that’s marked down. Yesterday, she brought home an escalator!”
"My wife will buy anything marked down," goes an old joke told by a male comedian. "Yesterday, she brought home an escalator!" The joke has been cited in print since at least…
Poor Man’s Butter (avocado)
The avocado was called the "poor man's butter" in Latin American countries, where the rich, buttery texture and mild nutty flavor was used in place of butter fat. "Poor…
“A filibuster is a long speech about nothing by an authority on the subject”
"A filibuster is a long speech about nothing by an authority on the subject" is a jocular definition of the filibuster. The definition was given in the "Comic Dictionary"…
“A signature reveals a man’s character—and sometimes even his name”
"A signature always reveals a man's character — and sometimes even his name" is a jocular line that has been credited to humorist and author Evan Esar (1899-1995), who included it…
“If a musical takes off enough clothes in summer, it usually runs through winter”
Life magazine (a New York City humor magazine) in 1921 gave an interesting maxim for musical comedy: "If a musical show takes off enough clothes in the summer it usually runs through the…
“A musical comedy must have good legs for a long run”
What would a musical be without its dancers? A saying (of unknown authorship) has been cited in print since at least 1928: "A musical comedy with good legs ought to have a long run." 17…
Tofucken (tofu + turducken)
Turducken (turkey + duck + chicken) is a popular Thanksgiving meal, and there is also vegetarian or vegan turducken, called "vegducken/veggieducken." A vegetarian turducken with tofu (or…
Vegducken or Veggieducken (veggie + turducken)
Turducken (turkey + duck + chicken) is a popular Thanksgiving meal. There have been many imitations made without meat. "What next, vegetarian Turducken?" was a newspaper headline in…
“Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?” (knock-knock joke)
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" is the punchline of a famously bad "knock-knock" joke. The joke has been recorded since at least 1960. Wikipedia: Knock-knock jokeThe…
“Food is an important part of a balanced diet”
New York City-based author Fran Lebowitz wrote in Metropolitan Life (1978): "Food is an important part of a balanced diet." The one-line saying has been frequently cited. Wikipedia: Fran…
Hamburger Disease (hemolytic uremic syndrome)
"Hamburger disease" (hemolytic uremic syndrome) was named after disease outbreaks at McDonald's restaurants in 1982 and was popularized by E. coli outbreaks at Jack in the Box…
Crybully (crybaby + bully)
A "crybully" (crybaby + bully) is someone who wants to claim victimization so he or she can bully others. The claim might be in the form of a hoax or an exaggerated, overplayed incident.…
“Polo is a passport to the world”
“A polo handicap is a passport to the world" has been credited to British statesman Winston Churchill (1874-1965), a lifelong polo enthusiast, but it's uncertain when he said it.…
“You wash dishes, and two weeks later you have to do it again”
Brooklyn-born comedian Joan Rivers (1933-2014) hated housework. She said in 1966: "You wash dishes, make the beds, dust -- and then two weeks later you have to do it all over again."…
Chambong (champagne + bong)
A "chambong" (champagne + bong) is a flute funnel that allows for faster consumption of champagne. The product was invented in 2014 and was trademarked with a first use date of June 1,…
“The slower it comes off, the longer it stays off” (weight loss adage)
"The slower is comes off, the longer it stays off" is a weight loss adage that has been cited in print since at least 2000. The reasoning behind the adage is that a person who slowly and…
“Mathematics is the second-cheapest department at any college”
An old joke tells that mathemtics is the second-cheapest department at any college because all you need is a pencil, paper and a wastebasket. Philosophy is the cheapest because you don't need…
“Mathematics is the cheapest science”
Hungarian mathematician George Pólya (1887-1985) was asked -- it is not known when -- why there were so many great Hungarian mathematicians. He replied: "Generally speaking, mathematics is…