“When a vegan goes missing do they put them on a soymilk carton?”
Missing persons' pictures have been on milk cartons since the disappearance of Etan Patz in Manhattan in 1979. "Must suck when a vegan's kid goes missing and his picture is put on a…
Archive for 10/2014
“My book club only reads wine labels”
"My book club only reads wine labels" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as tote bags, T-shirts and posters. Sally Beerworth, author of the book Updating…
“Never name the chickens” (military adage)
"Don't/Never name the chickens" is a barnyard adage that has also been used in the military. "We decided not to name our chickens...it makes it so hard to eat them later"…
“Never buy from a rich salesman and always hire a rich attorney”
The Complete Murphy's Law (1990) by Arthur Bloch included these rules: "GOLDENSTERN'S RULES: 1. Always hire a rich attorney.2. Never buy from a rich salesperson." It's not…
Certainly Not News (CNN nickname)
The Cable News Network (CNN), a 24-hour cable news channel, was founded by Ted Turner and first broadcast on June 1, 1980. The unflattering CNN nickname of "Certainly Not News" has been…
“The military is protecting democracy, not practicing it”
The American military defends democracy, but the military itself is not a democracy. "We're here to preserve democracy, Mr. Hunter, not to practice it" is from the novel Crimson Tide…
“Incompetence is a double-edged banana”
A "double-edged sword" is sharp on both sides and can cut both ways; the term is used to mean an asset that could also turn into a liability. A "double-edged banana" is soft on…
“Depresso: When you’ve run out of coffee”
"Depresso: When you’ve run out of coffee" is a jocular line that was cited on Twitter on November 25, 2012. "Depresso" is a portmanteau of "depression" and…
“College is a fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink”
"College is a fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink" is a jocular line that has been cited in print since at least 1951. The saying is of uncertain authorship.…
Canadian Brainwashing Corporation (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation or CBC nickname)
The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) is a channel that is available on some cable systems in the United States. The CBC has been given the backronym (back acronym) of “Canadian…
Crap Not News (CNN nickname)
The Cable News Network (CNN), a 24-hour cable news channel, was founded by Ted Turner and first broadcast on June 1, 1980. The unflattering CNN nickname of "Crap Not News" has been cited…
“It takes money to make money because you have to copy the design exactly”
"It takes money to make money" is an old saying. "It takes money to make money becasue you have to copy the design exactly" is a jocular extension of the saying that has been…
“Time kills all deals”
"Time kills all deals" is a popular piece of business advice. The longer a deal takes, the more opportunity there is for the deal to fall apart. The saying "time kills all…
“Swimming isn’t a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning”
"Swimming isn't a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning" is a joke that has been credited -- correctly -- to both American comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) and American…
“If the military wanted you to have a family, they’d have issued you one”
A military career is a difficult path to raise a family. "If the military wanted you to have a family, they would have issued you one" is an old joke. "If the Marine Corps wanted you…
“New York stabs you in the heart; Los Angeles stabs you in the back”
Actors and musicians have a saying about the difference between New York City (Broadway) and Los Angeles (Hollywood): "In New York, they tell you that you suck and they stab you in the heart.…
“My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in”
Muesli has its own popular joke: ""My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2000 and has been…
“The ball will find you” (baseball adage)
"The ball will find you" is a baseball adage that means there is nowhere on the field to hide a bad fielder -- sooner or later, the baseball will come that player's way. A big hitter…
“Catchers make the best managers” (baseball adage)
"Catchers make the best managers" is a very old baseball adage. "Catchers make good managers" was cited in 1912 and "catchers make the best managers" was cited in…
“You need the ball to score” (football adage)
"You need the ball to score" is an old football adage. If one team controls the time of possession, that means less time for the other team to go on offense (and score). Teams with leads…